Guy to girl: We don’t know if they’re sleeping together or just commuting together.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: V. Johnsen
Guy to girl: We don’t know if they’re sleeping together or just commuting together.
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: V. Johnsen
Conductor: Attention, passengers. If you’re waiting for the E train, dream on! It isn’t running at all! So get on here and wait for further instructions!
–A train
Overheard by: DJ Ranma S
Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!
–Museum of Natrual History
Overheard by: Heather
Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: James
Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.
–11th & 3rd
Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)
–Canal St
Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!
–Murray Hill
Overheard by: sab
Stewardess lady: If there is a sudden change in cabin pressure, a mask compartment above your seat will open automatically. If this happens, quickly reach for the nearest mask and pull it down firmly. Continue to breathe normally. If you are travelling with a small child, or someone who acts like a small child, please secure your mask and then assist them.
–JFK
Overheard by: Amy
Guy on cell: …yeah, and then I got arrested. So what’s up with you?
–Brooklyn Heights
Cop: Man, there’s a lot of Grade A ass out here today!
–Ground Zero
Guy: Don’t feel bad, honey. I’d say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist.
–Union Square
Cop: Man, I hate going to the bathroom. You gotta take all this stuff off!
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Female coworker to another: You look so cute! I didn’t recognize you!
–Hudson & Vandam
Buff man carrying small, pink, frilly umbrella: I better not hear anyone call me cute.
–Canal & Mulberry
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Chick on cell: Mom, cute is a puppy dog. Cute is an Anne Geddes photo. Cute is not a 25-year-old guy fluent in sarcasm. Stop trying to set me up with him.
–Hudson St
Woman looking at Salvador Dali painting: That is so cute!
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Does she kill puppies for fun?
Girl on cell: So, you know, I was just lying there, like with my face to the wall and stuff and he just whips out his dick and starts hitting me in the back of the head with it.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Zac Stone
Thug on cell: Will I accept payment in what? In coke? Fuck no, I won’t accept an eight-ball as payment. No. No way, bitch, I don’t care how pure it is. Uh-uh, the only coke I do comes in five dollar rocks. I can’t afford to get hooked on that expensive shit.
–49th & 7th
Oveheard by: Prefers the expensive shit
Drunk guy, to his date: The reason I’m buying all of this coke is so that we can fuck.
–6th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Danielle
Girl: Can you imagine saying your vows when you’re that coked up?
–Remsen St, Brooklyn Heights
Party girl: Oh my God, she took a picture of me one time while I was doing a line, and I was, like, so pissed!
–Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park
Dude: America runs on cocaine.
–W Broadway
Overheard by: ritajones
Goth chick: I just want to buy some fucking groceries so we don’t spend all our money on coke.
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jumana
Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Rich R.
Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice)
–Waverly Place & 5th Ave
Overheard by: steph
Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You!
–Humboldt & Withers
Overheard by: francesca
Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down.
–Williams St
Overheard by: Sonya
Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's
Old lady on cell: I mean, it's just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce."
–42nd St
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
–Paul's Cafe
