Jersey skank #1: And I had to go to this bar, Big Sleazy, all by myself!
Jersey skank #2: Big Sleazy all by yourself?
–55th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Syddles
Jersey skank #1: And I had to go to this bar, Big Sleazy, all by myself!
Jersey skank #2: Big Sleazy all by yourself?
–55th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Syddles
British husband, looking into living room: Isn't this wonderful? So calm and serene. Very relaxing, don't you think,dear?
British wife: Oh, I don't know. It isn't very, you know, puffy…
–Frank Lloyd Wright House, American Wing, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Paul N.
Customer: Do you have flypaper?
Store clerk: Yeah. On the counter.
Customer: Does it work on moths?
Store clerk: It should.
Customer: What if it doesn't?
Store clerk: Then move.
–Hardware Store
Tiny six-year-old son: Why do I look so fat?
Mom: (looks puzzled)
Tiny six-year-old son, pointing at his reflection in elevator doors: Look at me, I look fat!
Mom, smiling, relieved: Oh! No, it's just that reflection is distorted, sweetie.
Tiny six-year-old son: Is that why you looked so fat in those pictures?
Mom (after pause): …yes.
–Elevator, Lexington Ave
Sales rep: I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't have that specific style here. You could try Saks.
Affluent German woman: The lady at Saks told me to look here! (sniffling) Why does everyone lie to me?
–Bergdorf Goodman, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Blacknoise
Son: Mommy, why does god make these benches so uncomfortable?
Mommy: So you don't fall asleep. Now stop talking.
–Christ and St. Stephen's Church, W 69th St
Overheard by: falling asleep anyway
Drunk guy #1: God, I've missed the sweet taste of beer.
Drunk guy #2: Wait, what were drinking earlier today?
Drunk guy #1: Beer.
–Off the Wagon, MacDougal St
Jewish grad student #1: Are you kosher?
Jewish grad student #2: Yeah, of course! Unless it's free…
–Orchard St
College girl: Yeah, it's “Soho,” south of Houston, and “Noho,” North of Houston. Though I guess that's kinda just the village.
College guy: That's what it means? Wow, I didn't know that! Wait, where does the other “o” come from?
College girl: Um…south, and Houston.
College guy: Oh, right. Well, I am from Jersey anyway. I don't even know nothing.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nathan
Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the garden is?
Bored looking suit: Ma'am, this is a stadium.
Tourist woman: You asswipe, I can see that, I'm asking where the garden is!
Bored looking suit: Lady… Look, I'm not going to lie to you. It's two blocks down.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Joel Moore
