Stall Spies

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.

–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel

TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’

–26th St

Overheard by: agrees with that girl

College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broadway

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.

–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Voice from stall: God, will you give me a sign?

–Restroom, United Nations

Overheard by: Nicolas

Girl in stall: Ugh! The toilet paper is totally not loving me!

–Restroom, Starbucks

Woman crammed in restroom stall with two girls: Okay, hold on… Alright, now. So, tell me what’s up! How do you girls like school?

–Mustang Harry’s, 34th St

Overheard by: Rachel Jordan

Man at urinal: Ow! …That’s not good.

–Restroom, Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: RG

African dude settling into urinal stance: Lookie-here, what’ve we got here? Lookie-here at what we have!

–Restroom, Washington Square Park

Overheard by: off white

Voice from Port-a-Potty: Oh baby, oh baby. Yes!

–Gramercy Park

Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.

–Dobbin & Norman

Overheard by: Sam Tresler

Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.

–Post-Yankees game on B train

Overheard by: Indiana

Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: X-tal

Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: emily

JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!

–71st & Columbus

Overheard by: DebDan

Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.

–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Em

Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: hilla

Girl #1: It’s not good to flush the toilet while you’re in the stall.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because then everything that’s in the toilet… jumps out.
Girl #2: Ewww.

–Ladies’ room, Columbia University

Old Jewess on cell: Carla is going to be there, too…You’ve met Carla…You met her the other week. She was the one with the penis.

–77th & 2nd

Overheard by: Joseph

Considerate guy: Hey, man, don’t burst his bubble. If it ain’t a man, it ain’t a man.

–Outside 10th Precinct, W 20th St

Voice on intercom: Sir, that’s the women’s restroom. Sir…Sir…Stop!

–Times Square

Drunk guy: Well, it was either a real ugly woman or a guy with man-boobs.

–F train

Drunk dude to girl: Wow, you’re the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.

–Women’s bathroom, Saloon, 83rd & York

Overheard by: Aaron

Little girl, staring at the Statue of Liberty: Who’s he supposed to be?

–Circle Line

Overheard by: emily

Young guy: …so, technically, I’m lactating. Technically.

–Central Park

Guy #1: You are such a nerd.
Guy #2: You mean because I’m on my laptop during sex?
Guy #1: What?

–42nd & 8th

Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.

–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room

Tween girl #1: Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?
Tween girl #2: I don’t need to. I flush with my foot
Tween girl #1: Do you also wipe with your foot?

–Union Square Regal Cinemas ladies’ room

Drunk guy: What is this, some sort of sausage fest in here or something?

–The Park men’s room, 10th Avenue