The Village

Chick #1: Hey, who was Yasser Arafat?
Chick #2: Uh, wasn’t he the president of Mexico?
Chick #1: Kill me.

–Washington Square Park

Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.

–Trader Joe’s

Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!

–Lobby, the Met

Overheard by: Shayna

Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!

–W 4th & Christopher St

Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..

Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?

–St. Mark’s Pl

Mom: Don’t think of it as losing a friend…but as gaining a holiday destination.

–A train

Overheard by: Clacky

Girl #1: What’s with the people yelling?
Girl #2: It’s a protest about something.
Girl #1: What are they protesting?
Girl #2: I don’t know, the Bubonic Plague?

–Washington Square SE

Overheard by: Gradie Smith

Douchebag college student to girl: The cop looked at my ID and said "Come on, Mr California!" and I was like: "Mr California? Come on! I’ve been here for like four months!"

–G Train

Overheard by: Guy who puts 4 months to shame

Jersey girl: I don’t do Arkansas.

–Tram to Roosevelt Island

Eight-year-old to uncle: Please don’t move to Connecticut… It’s too hard to spell!

–38th & 2nd Ave

Aging queen to record store clerk: Oivia Newton-John’s fine and all, but she’s like 55 and living in Connecticut, so she lost her edge.

–Rebel Rebel Records: Bleecker and Christopher st.

Suit on cell: Do they make you sterile? Can you have sex? When you’re on the pills, can you have sex? You should go to Utah. They have great sex in Utah. The Mormons are famous for it. I think we should have easter dinner at 4.30 at Fekkai’s.

–43rd St between Madison & 5th

Black man, pulling up his pants while being chased out of the library by two Hispanic security guards: I’m sick of dem Hispanics, man! I’m sick of ’em! I love California.

–New York Public Library, 42nd St branch

Overheard by: Jason

Teen girl #1: Yo, how is learning how to make 3d shapes and stuff gonna help us become doctors? I joined Brooklyn Tech gateway to take AP classes, go to a good college, and be rich in life. Whoopy-de-do, I know how to create a 3d table! My life is mad cool now!
Teen girl #2: Word. Dis is bullshit, but hey at least we smarta dan dem otha bitches.
Teen girl #1 True dat, true dat.

–14th & 5th

NYU chick: They do African dance together.
NYU dude (incredulous): he does African dance?
NYU chick: Yeah, he started taking it as a class in high school.
NYU dude: He took African dance in high school?
NYU chick: Well, he's from the Bay Area.

–Hummus Place, McDougal & W 3rd

Overheard by: sarrrah3000

Teen girl #1: Damn, I’m so glad I went out with you and not your
brother.
Teen girl #2: Aw baby, me too.
Teen girl #1: I mean, you have like three times the personality and
ten times the looks.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah, I know!

–Starbucks, 6th & Waverly

Hobo: Any change? Anything you got to give?
Suit: I wish I had something to give, but pretty soon, I'm going to be like you.
Hobo: My man, you cannot be this awesome.

–Bleecker & Lafayette

Tipsy chick #1: Like, I kept drinking, but it really didn’t taste like there was any alcohol in it. So I just kept drinking.
Tipsy chick #2: You are a fratboy’s dream.

–Macdougal between 3rd & Bleecker

Overheard by: djlindee