The Black Flag is at Half-mast

Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore!

–1 train

Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills.

–CBGBs, The Bowery

Overheard by: Sarah Royal

Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth

Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks?

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mary

Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”.

–2nd & A

Overheard by: Kira

Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me.

–Leonard between Broadway & Church

Overheard by: Lakini Malich

Posted on October 13, 2014
Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, CBGB, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Favorites, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Places, Porn, Punks, Sex, Soho, Suits, Tattoos, Teens, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, West Village, Williamsburg, Words

The Hipster Progression, Step 19: Embracing the Grateful Dead before Your Friends Do

Hipster: It smells like acid rain.

–Smith St. Carroll Gardens

Posted on October 9, 2014
Brooklyn, Hipsters, Sensory Experiences, Weather, Weirdness

Christians Really Shouldn't Complain About Muslims

Young guy, yelling: I don't give a fuck what you think, I'll play my music as loud as I want!
Old lady, yelling: Well, you do whatever you want, you just keep it away from me! I'm with the Lord. I've got the love of Christ in my heart, you fucking faggot!

–Brooklyn

Posted on October 8, 2014
Brooklyn, God, Guys, Insults, Love, Music, Old People, Wishes & desires, Women

When I Was Pregnant, I Was All, “I Want an Abortion! I Want an Abortion!”

Little boy, seeing long line for movie tickets: I’m not waiting! This line is too long!
Mom: You have to learn to wait in lines… God, you complain more than a pregnant woman.

–Brooklyn

Posted on October 8, 2014
Boys, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Default, Gripes, Kids, Moms

Wednesday One-Liner Is Murder

Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.

–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Maryrose

Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!

–Queens

Overheard by: alex

Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Caroline

Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!

–Starbucks

Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.

–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!

Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?

–West End & West 100th St

Posted on October 8, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Food, Friends, Illness, Jewish Moms, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Kink, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

…That Was You?

Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone.
Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them.
Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like “eewwwww”.
Hipster guy #1: Ewww.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: What the hell were they talking about?

Posted on October 7, 2014
Brooklyn, Fighting and ass kicking, Hipsters, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Sensory Experiences

Vanity, Thy Name Is Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"

–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn

Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!

–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn

Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.

–PATH

Overheard by: Corey

Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.

–Montague St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!

Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!

–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea

Overheard by: Evan

Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!

–Washington Heights

Posted on October 7, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Fat People, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Hair, Kids, Makeup, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Questions, Science, Street, Surgery, Time, Trains Not Subway, Washington Heights and Inwood, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liner Like an Egyptian

Guy on cell: I'm walking down St. Marks, and I'm having psychological issues. That's why I'm calling this NYU support number.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: A preponderance of hipsters can sort of do that to you…

Stylish guy on phone: No, I do not have time to check if anyone is gesticulating at me, I'm walking to Chipotle!

–Sock Man, St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Rachel Isadora

Thick-accented gentleman: You nevah saw that movie? Penguins walkin'?

–Smith & Wollensky's Steakhouse

Overheard by: kritta

Too-tan Columbia student: Oh my god! You should totally have picked up your phone the other night because I was totally ready to, like, walk by myself down 122nd Street to the d train, alone, at like, midnight! Even though I know it wouldn't have been very safe to do that, I was ready!

–Uptown 2 Train

Woman to another, holding the strings to 100 helium balloons: You never walk my balloons!

–Lafayette & Cumberland, Fort Greene

Overheard by: Brenda