Guy with thick accent: Where you get off to the Walton Center?
NY chick: The what?
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center.
NY chick: Do you know what street it's on?
Guy with thick accent: No, no. You know, the Walton Center.
NY chick: I'm sorry, I don't know where that is.
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center! The buildings, they fall, they fall!
NY chick: You mean the World Trade Center?
Guy with thick accent: Yes!
NY chick: Fulton Street and fuck you.
–Uptown 5 Train
Scraggly teen boy: Are you still a vegan?
Scraggly teen girl: Yeah, I’m still a vegan, except I ate a cinnamon roll today. But, you know, it happens.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: Amanda Nazario
Girl yuppie: Isn’t it crazy how rapidly presidents age over eight years?
Guy yuppie: Oh I know, all the stress.
Girl yuppie: If Hil wins president, she’s gonna be a hot mess.
Guy yuppie: She’ll look like Margaret Thatcher after three months!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Sromeo
Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something.
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: Alyssa
Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth!
–Starbucks, 8th & 39th
Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay!
–Times Square
Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best
Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years…
–Duane Reade
Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth.
–48th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rebecca
Shrill girl: Gawd! I wish someone would just rape her.
Gay guy: Yeah. Twice.
–14th & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Nbaker
Girl on train: Excuse me, don't touch my bag.
Young thug: I am just tryin to close your zipper.
Girl: Yeah, and then you take my wallet!
Thug: Why you think I am gonna take yo wallet? Because I'm black?
Girl: No, because I heard you tell your friend “I'imma steal this bitch's wallet.”
Thug: Oh.
–A Train
Girl at make-up counter: Where was yous at during the tornado yesterday?
Customer: Huh?
Girl at make-up counter: Guess you didn’t got one, then.
–Kaufmann’s, Walden Galleria
Overheard by: Rachel + Isaac
NYU girl #1: I am so fucking sick of the Jews for Jesus everywhere.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I know, it’s really annoying.
NYU girl #1: It’s not annoying; it’s fucking insulting! What, do I look Jewish to them? I mean, seriously, I don’t, do I? You’d tell me if I looked Jewish, right?
–Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: Emily
Babysitter: Girl, you look good.
Friend: I know, right?
Babysitter: Well, not that good.
–Tot Lot, Victorian Flatbush
