Hobo #1: So they said I had to do this ree-conciliation.
Hobo #2: Uh-huh.
Hobo #1: Tell you what, man: they can ree-conciliate deze nuts!
–Bowery Mission
Overheard by: h.g. #3
Hobo #1: So they said I had to do this ree-conciliation.
Hobo #2: Uh-huh.
Hobo #1: Tell you what, man: they can ree-conciliate deze nuts!
–Bowery Mission
Overheard by: h.g. #3
Guy on phone on Halloween night: So I realize it's last minute, but we need a fourth ghostbuster… and you are black.
–3rd Ave
Overheard by: Supertaint
Teenage girl to group of friends: Ya know, I used to think that John Lennon and John Legend were the same person. Every time I saw John Legend I thought, "damn, that's whack that John Lennon would walk around in black face!"
–M116 Bus, East Harlem
Overheard by: NC
20-something black guy to 20-something white girl: It's New Year's Eve, baby–have sex with a black man tonight! Have sex with a black man on New Year's Eve! (girl laughs, turns to look at him) Hey–it don't have to be me! It's New Year's Eve, have sex with a black man tonight!
–Suffolk & Delancey
Passenger, about ghetto kids who just got off train: Damn, they were like the black Jersey Shore!
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: kids these days
Funny-looking guy with crazy goatee & glasses to the sales assistant by the table full of butt plugs: I'm friendly with this woman… She likes things in her ass.
–Babeland, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Lara
Girl: It felt so good. He then stuck his finger up my ass. Just as I was about to say "No! No!" I came. Ugh, I swear my life is a joke… A joke!
–Murray St & Greenwich
Overheard by: James
Guy talking way too loudly on cell: Man, I just lay her down and say, "baby, you put yo' tongue in daddy's ass!
–W 3rd & MacDougal
Overheard by: Mathieu
Guy on cell: Cus he'd already been to the emergency room, 'cus he stuck a shampoo bottle up his ass.
–L Train
Thug to girl in catsuit costume walking by: Man, I'd eat yesterday's breakfast out of that ass!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Ed
Drunk chick: Who wants a bite of my freak salad? Whoo!
–Hudson & W 11th
Very drunk male hipster: Whass the problem? Roofies make you goofy!
–Stanton & Allen
Wasted college girl: Guys, let's go get more drunk! I wanna get laid! (to another girl on cell) Tell your boyfriend I wanna get laid!
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: Oh, dear.
Man of questionable sobriety: She tore off my shirt with her teeth, and then covered my chest in Jameson, licked it off, and then humped my face until I fell off the swing.
–Red Restaurant, South Street Seaport
Man in bar, with the air of explaining a very simple concept: We need to shoot every fucking robber in the head, right? Then there would be no robbers.
–Midtown
Mom to son picking leaves off a potted plant: You better stop doing that or else they'll shoot you.
–Roosevelt Island Golf Center
Overheard by: erak
40-something female suit: I'm looking for a particular kind of venom for my blow-gun darts.
–The High Line
60-something woman to two admiring 30-something women: My body no longer produces estrogen and I carry a gun in my purse… Who's going to mess with me?
–Prince & Sullivan
Black man in Batman suit trying to get tourists to pay to take pictures with him: I got bills! I got bills!
–Times Square
Overheard by: kpan
Traffic cop, motioning in vain for car to stop: I guess my powers aren't working today…
–Citifield, 7 Train Entrance
Teenage girl: I love my physics teacher. He's like a fat, middle-aged Superman.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Large man with heavy accent shouting into cell: Please send somebody–I have just been robbed. (pause) I am on the corner. (pause) What do you mean, "white"? He is a Spiderman! He's wearing a Spiderman suit!
–Stanton & Essex
Old man #1: Bill! Look here, $2 pants!
Old man #2: Oh, don't be stupid. They were probably made in China.
–Orchard St
Frazzled suit: I just spilled my entire coffee!
Fat man in apron working the counter, pointing to sign: No free refills.
–Coffee Shop, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Danielle
Random girl: I think PETA should be informed any time an animal is fully submerged in a vagina.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Jen
20-something platinum blonde to another: Her vagina… Her vagina must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.
–7th Ave & 12th St
Girl, about her play: I don't think people are going to laugh about the vagina being killed on stage… Yeah, no one's gonna laugh when the vagina dies.
–NYU
Dude questioning another: What do mean by "moderate Taliban"? Like the women can wax their vaginas?
–Elizabeth Street
Young man shouting on cell: Then just tell her you don't like her vagina!
–26th St & Park Ave
Happy old drunk guy, to no one in particular: Eldridge Street, god bless us, every one! Eldridge street!
–Eldridge Street & Broome Street
Drunk girl to friend: There she goes! Being all Rosa Parks, as usual, saving her tribe …
–2nd Ave b/w 5th & 6th
Drunk girl outside bar: If I ever have children, I want them to be as fucked up as I am!
–West Village
Overheard by: AsherO
Drunk girl: I'm so hungry I could eat a dick!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: teagle
Loud drunk girl at table with friends: Ashton sat on my lovesack!
–Blockheads
