Hobo: Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not hungry or sick, I just need some money so I can get high, but it’s just weed, I don’t do heroin or cocaine or any of that shit.
Guy: You know, it’s because of guys like you that people think pot should be illegal! Look at you! When I get high, I pay my own way! I earn my own money and get high! There are little kids on this train! What do you think they’re going to learn? Man, think a little!
–4 train
Overheard by: Alice S.
Guy #1: You the Grinch, nigga!
Guy #2: I'm the Grinch? How?
Guy #1: I dunno. You just the Grinch.
Guy #2: You're the Grinch, you little fuck!
Guy #1: I can't be the Grinch. I have Christmas spirit.
–F Train
Teen girl: Mom, when did you get your period?
Mom: Don’t use that word, call it dot.
–1 train
Guy #1: You know her?
Guy #2: Yeah! The girl with a face like a chipmunk…Poor thing’s gonna die a virgin.
Guy #1: She’s married.
Guy #2: Married? Married to what?
–F train
Black lady #1: You know Earl?
Black lady #2: [Nods.]Black lady #1: You know Earl?
Black lady #3: [Nods.]Black lady #1: You know Earl?
Black lady #4: [Shakes head.]Black lady #1: You don’t wanna know that mothafuckah — that is one nasty-ass nigga.
–Flatbush Ave-bound 4 train
Girl, looking at friend's cell phone: What is that?
Friend: A baby!
Girl: Oh, I thought it was chicken. It looks like a barbecued chicken.
–4 Train
Cute blonde: I like fucking you. No, I love fucking you.
Buff guy: Yeah.
Cute blonde: But if I suck your dick and you cum, you'll fall asleep.
Buff guy: How about you suck my dick and then I fuck you?
Cute blonde: That never happens. But if you come with me to my friend Sam's party, I'll suck your dick.
–4 Train
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
–A Train
Prep #1: Let’s go play GameCube and listen to Jack Johnson and share our emotions.
Prep #2: Yeah!
–S train
Overheard by: Elizabeth
