Wednesday One-Liners Have the Rainbow Connection

Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.

–W 13th St

Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!

–10th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?

Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.

–4 Train

Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.

–Christopher St

Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.

–Times Square

11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.

–Bronx Playground

Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!

–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on May 31, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Babies, Backdoor, Beauty, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Dads, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sexuality, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Trannies, Tweens, West Village, Wishes & desires

Grey’s Wednesday One-Liners

Girl talking to another girl: I like rectal physiology.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: no need to take her to a movie

Fireman, mocking drunk voice and crazy walking: Where are my kneecaps? Has anyone seen my kneecaps? Where the hell did my kneecaps go?

–Times Square

Overheard by: jacki

Man on street talking seriously to friend: And then the lady’s head fell into the toilet bowl.

–White St & W. Broadway

Overheard by: I would have loved to hear the ending of this story..

Guy: It would be better if we could see our own bodies cut up, all laid out on front of us like this!

–Entering the Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Girl in train: It’s so cold that my ears are freezing their asses off!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Not High, Kumar

Woman at next table: Well, I only get cold sores on my nose.

–The Mermaid Inn, 2nd Ave & 5th

Posted on May 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Firemen, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Men, On the Subway, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Science, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weather, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

What's “Wednesday One-Liner,” Anyway?

Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?

–51st St & Lexington

Overheard by: jake-e

Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: I guess not a normal person

Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.

–Hunter College

Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.

–Museum of Natural History

Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!

–Shuttle to Times Square

Posted on May 29, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Death, Friends, Girls, Hunter, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Museum of Natural History, Nerds, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Politicians, Politics, Public Transportation, Questions, Religion, School and studying, Street, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

That's Where Sand Sculptures Come from

Trendy Dominican teen girl #1: Like, I just don't understand people who have this like, fetish about the beach. Like they looove the beach so much. I like, don't even like to go there. It's like weird, and you…
Trendy Dominican teen girl #2, finishing her sentence: …get lots of sand in your twat, yo!

–1 Train

Posted on May 28, 2015
Animals & Nature, Dominicans, Gripes, On the Subway, Teens, Vagina

But Only If They Wore Leather Chaps

Dude #1: I had a dream that we got to hang out backstage with Metallica after the concert on Saturday.
Dude #2: That would be fucking awesome.
Dude #1: We would totally get laid.
Dude #2: By Metallica?
Dude #1: I'd do it.

–N Train

Overheard by: Mr. Bobo

Posted on May 28, 2015
Backdoor, Dreams, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Music, On the Subway

Wednesday One-liners Swipe Again

Conductor: Attention, passengers. If you’re waiting for the E train, dream on! It isn’t running at all! So get on here and wait for further instructions!

–A train

Overheard by: DJ Ranma S

Posted on May 28, 2015
Conductors, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation

Being Conscious Was Your First Mistake

Guy #1: I took a three hour shower. Well, ’cause I passed out.
Guy #2: I’ve never taken a three hour shower. I’ve had a four hour bath… That gets unpleasant.

–D train

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Posted on May 27, 2015
Cleanliness, Guys, On the Subway

From the Long-Awaited Ernest Goes to ESL

Girl to old man in baseball cap: What does the “E” on your hat stand for?
Old man: (unintelligible)
Girl: The “E”? What does it stand for?
Old man: (unintelligible)
Black lady observing scene: E stands for the English he don’t speak.

–A Train

Overheard by: Brenda

Posted on May 27, 2015
Black People, Default, Girls, Language Barrier, Old People, On the Subway, Questions, Strangers, Women, Words

Oh, and My Head. My Head Is Hollow

Latino with kid’s bike #1: Yeah, he wants to change Father’s Day to ‘Dad Gets a Free Lap Dance Day.’ And he wants to call Halloween, uh… He wants to call it… uh… Yo, why’s it called ‘Halloween,’ anyway? What the fuck is Halloween?
Latino with kid’s bike #2: ‘Cause you know the word ‘hollow,’ like a tree is hollow? You know, and pumpkins are hollow. And ‘ween’ ’cause you can wear anything you want, like women’s clothing and shit.

–Manhattan-bound L train

Overheard by: Mistah Rabbit

Posted on May 26, 2015
Holidays, Idiots, Latinos, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Weirdness, Words

It’s a Train, Not a Glass Elevator

Yarmulke man: Excuse me, where does this train go to?
Do-rag guy: Florida.
Yarmulke man: Florida? Texas? California?
Do-rag guy: Yep.
Yarmulke man: Okay! Good.

–6 train

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on May 26, 2015
Assholes, Directions, Jews, On the Subway, U.S. Geography, Weirdness

On the Subway