Guy holding unlit cigarette: Hey, got a light?
Woman exiting building: You're standing outside a cancer hospital, asshole.
–York Ave & E 67th St
Overheard by: quitalongtimeago
Guy holding unlit cigarette: Hey, got a light?
Woman exiting building: You're standing outside a cancer hospital, asshole.
–York Ave & E 67th St
Overheard by: quitalongtimeago
Girl on phone: Yeah, I'm here. But I think I passed through the ghetto on the way. Yeah, it was definitely the ghetto. How do I know? It was really obvious: because I saw a sizzler and all the buildings looked the same!
–Penn Station
20-something girl, watching street protest: They better not have closed Popeyes for this.
–M Bus
Overheard by: BHM
Tiny white girl: I just want to go into Applebee's and punch everyone in the face.
–Times Square
Overheard by: that would pass the time…
Girl on cell: Look mom, there's a Jamba Juice. That place is like famous.
–Herald Square
Slob tourist chick to fat husband: I hate my life! Ooooh, Olive Garden!
–Times Square
Overheard by: BarcLeh
Guy rushing past crowd: Why would I go to work on the day of Barneys Warehouse sale…are you insane?
–78th & Broadway
20-something white guy: Enough of this hippie shit. Let's go to the four floor Abercrombie.
–Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Alison
Girl: I was so depressed. I actually almost bought that leather jacket from Express. Whose bright idea was it to have the MCAT testing center in a shopping district?
–1 Train
20-something woman to another: Wow, it's just like the Westchester mall here, only outside.
–Bleecker & W 10th
Very Caucasian tourist: Holy frick! Where is The Gap?
–42nd & Broadway
Middle aged woman in hot pink, yelling: I won't shop today! I will not shop! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I will not fucking shop today! I won't shop! Fuck you!
–Urban Outfitters
Black guy: That show was so white, I just wanted to bomb the place.
–W 49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Erin
19-year-old street vendor: Well, pipe bombs are easy…but they do a lot of damage.
–Chinatown
Guy dressed in sequined jacket, screaming on escalator: I can't fucking believe this fucking shit. They have no fucking radios. What K-Mart got no fucking radios? No fucking radios! (after a long pause) I'm gonna bomb this muthafucka to the ground.
–K Mart, 8th St
Overheard by: I Didn't Know the Unibomber Got a Makeover
Man on phone: Do you know why they bombed on 7/11?
–50th St & 9th Ave
20-something girl to friend, after large explosion is heard: Well, I'm from Detroit, so when I hear things like that it doesn't even bother me.
–Union Square Holiday Market
Overheard by: isa
Woman, as a grungy guy walks by: Whenever I see sullen long-haired bearded men in army jackets I am afraid something is going to get blown up.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Woman #1: Oh my god! That crazy woman with her dog! I mean, really.
Woman #2: I know! And her dog is crazy too.
Woman #1: Well, her dog is pretty calm, it's just that she talks to it as if it can understand English.
Woman #2: Yeah, but I mean her dog just puts up with it.
–14th St
Suit to another, on smoking break: Cigarettes are out, cookies are in!
–33rd & Park Ave
Teen boy: I wanna take up smoking just to prove to people how easy it is to quit. Seriously, it's not that hard. Just don't buy a pack.
–74th & Lexington
Bum to another: And so the cops went in and found them… And you know they can't arrest them for smokin' that shit…it's part of their religion!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
Professor: The only reason valuable reason to start smoking is if you were molested as a child or some shit like that.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Girl on phone: So my roommate was bitching at me this morning for walking around in my underwear and I was like, "Dude, you got laid last night, I got yelled at by my booty call's girlfriend. I deserve to smoke cigarettes half naked on my patio."
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: innocent bystander
High school kid: Yo, I would smoke a cigarette dipped in toothpaste!
–Chambers St
Agitated man: God gave you a penis and a road map to the world! You don't need maps!
–Washington Square & University Place
Tween: God wants me to get drunk tonight!
–3rd & Mercer
Four-year-old child to mother: Mommy! We have to go to church on Sunday. God is going to repent us on Sunday!
–R Train
Overheard by: Marie
Hobo: And then I fucked god!
–Heckscher Playground, Central Park
Overheard by: Shiki
Jewish girl to friend: Oy! My bagel looks like god jerked off on it.
–Guy & Gallards, 34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Awkwardly eating his breakfast
Drunk girl to drunk friend crying on her coat: It's always so hard when you lose your soulmate in the bathroom line, but it's like, god works in mysterious ways, you know.
–W Train
Overheard by: Wes
Out-of-towner: So, like, are the other boroughs nice?
–11th St
Overheard by: Jaya
Hobo: You got any spare change? (man keeps walking) How about 10 dollars?
–10th St & Broadway
