Man, making finger-gun gesture with both hands pointing at woman: A snake like you.
Woman, unimpressed: Bam bam.
Man: A snake like you.
Woman: Bam bam.
Man: A snake like you.
Woman: Bam bam.
Man: A snake like you.
Woman: Bam bam… Bam bam…
–Penn Station
Tourist, taking photo to woman walking in front of camera: Hey! You ruined my picture!
Aggravated city woman: And you ruined my city!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: couldn't agree with you more!
Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous.
–28th & Lexington
Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas.
–6 Train
Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda.
–Jackson Heights
Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work.
–Lenox & 118th St
Overheard by: K
Guy: Do I look like I ordered strawberries and cream? I have tattoos on my head and face!
–Starbucks
Being a full-time tranny is like having a tattoo on your forehead. Like, you can't work, like, what do you do?
–Brooklyn
Customer to another, about barber: Take him for example, he was in the special forces. He's got a big tattoo on his arm that says, "Kill 'em all, let god sort 'em out." Drop him off in Prospect Park today and tomorrow he'll be eating a sandwich.
–Park Slope Barber Shop
Overheard by: ian daywalker
Chatty young woman to bored-looking guy friend: You know, my shoes would really look a lot better if I had a foot tattoo.
–D Train
Man with tattoo that reads "don't go to hell" to friend: There's a funny story behind this tattoo. I was dating this bitch, and she would wake up every morning and suck my dick. Or fuck the shit out of me. And then tell me I was going to hell. You have no idea what this bitch put me through. I mean, sexually, she was great. We'd go out to bars and both of us would pick up chicks, so that by the end of the night we'd have two or three women hanging around us trying to go home with us.
–Chipotle
Overheard by: Jana
Dirty guy to woman: Damn, baby!
Woman to dirty guy: Nigga, pleez! I eat more pussy then you do!
–Centre & Chambers
Young woman #1, before movie starts: I'm gonna go.
Young woman #2: Why? Don't go.
Young woman #1: I'm gonna meet up with my man.
Young woman #2: Come on! Don't you want to stay for the movie?
Young woman #1: I'm gonna leave now cause: first of all… booty call. Second of all… dick. Third of all… dick. Fourth… my man is sick and I have Tums with me.
–Movie, Bryant Park
Dude: Do boobs need a reason?
–Perdition bar, 49th & 10th
Overheard by: Brokeass Harem
Guy: This is high school. Breasts are usually an effective way of determining gender.
–Stuyvesant High School
Old woman with Julie Andrews accent: I used to be quite buxom!
–Chinese Restaurant, 55th & 6th
Wife to husband: Did you see the tits on that Santa?
–Outside Penn Station, During SantaCon
Curvy woman on cell: Accessories? Oh please. My breasts are accessory enough.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Blayne
Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?
–117th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jesse D
Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.
–W 49th & 5th
Overheard by: canucks
Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!
–Broadway & 4th St
Overheard by: Jalex Leoley
Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!
–Staten Island Ferry
Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alana h.
Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?
–Melrose Ave & 154th St
Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chris K.
30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Frank Molla
Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.
–St. Mark's Place
Woman on bike to jaywalking pedestrians: Jesus fucking Christ, get the fuck out of the road.
Guy: Fuck you, bitch! (to friends) Did I just say “fuck you, bitch” to a biker?
–Rivington & Essex
