Let a Smile Be Your Wednesday One-Liner

Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?

–Melrose Ave & 154th St

Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chris K.

30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Frank Molla

Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ashley

20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.

–St. Mark's Place

Posted on August 19, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Colors, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Happiness, Insults, Makeup, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Nostalgia, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Puerto Ricans, Questions, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Train Station, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

The Day Andy Became a New Yorker

Woman on bike to jaywalking pedestrians: Jesus fucking Christ, get the fuck out of the road.
Guy: Fuck you, bitch! (to friends) Did I just say “fuck you, bitch” to a biker?

–Rivington & Essex

Posted on August 18, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Anger Management, Friends, Guys, Insults, Jesus, Lower East Side, Questions, Women

More Helpful Than My High School Guidance Counselor

Crackhead: Here's how it goes: first you go get your master's for four years, and then after you go to undergrad for four years. That shit takes a long time!
Woman, politely: Oh. I get it!

–1st Ave & 13th St

Posted on August 16, 2009
Advice, Education, Idiots, School and studying, Time, Union Square and East Village, Women

NewsFlash: Cop Is Less Than Truthful. Film at 11.

Cop to woman who has just dropped something: Ma'am! (points)
Woman: Oh! Thanks.
Cop: Wait–was that cash?
Woman: Yeah.
Cop: Oh… that was already there.

–Chambers Street Station

Overheard by: Mader

Posted on August 14, 2009
Cops, Lies, Money & Class, Questions, Subway Stations, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

Ooo, Is That Excrement?!

Lady #1: It smells so nice here!
Lady #2: That would be the sewage.

–Canal St

Posted on August 13, 2009
Garbage, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Street, Women

But at Least You Didn't Accidentally Drink the Nair This Time

Middle-aged blonde woman: We had a bottle of Nair and beer bottles in the shower. Woke up hungover, with no hair, in my underwear.
Middle-aged brunette woman: That's just sad.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Markle

Posted on August 13, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Hair, Penn Station, Waxing, Weirdness, Women

Hannah Montana Is Totally Vanilla, Though.

Young woman: She's a gay prostitute!
Friend: Who told you that?
Young woman: Everyone and her mother knows Miley Cyrus is a gay prostitute! Look at her!

–Park Slope

Posted on August 13, 2009
About Celebrities, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Park Slope, Prostitution, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Really Need to Montauk

Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: Smitten Kitten

Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.

–Greenpoint

20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?

–John St & Cliff St

Overheard by: BennyP

Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!

–51st & 6th

Overheard by: Fanx 4 that

Posted on August 12, 2009
Accidents, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, B & T, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Death, Fag Hags, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

When “Musical Chairs” Goes Horribly Awry

Man: Sorry about yesterday. I got a little carried away.
Woman: That's okay. It was just the man in you.
Man: Yeah. A couple more minutes, and it would have been the man in you!

–23rd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Marty

Posted on August 10, 2009
Apologies, Gender issues, Horny, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Penis, Sex, Time, Women

Women