Hobo: Next stop, my dick!
Gay guy: Oh yay! This is going to be fun!
Hobo: You're weird, I was only joking.
–1 Train
Hobo: Next stop, my dick!
Gay guy: Oh yay! This is going to be fun!
Hobo: You're weird, I was only joking.
–1 Train
6'6" construction worker with another, to Applebee's host: For two, somewhere really romantic.
–Applebee's, 50th St
Construction worker with Staten Island accent: Chick's like a fuckin' black widow, like, she gets you all swollen up and then just leaves you to fuckin' die.
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: need a tissue?
Construction worker to friend: That guy's got a job at fuckin' fudge pack city!
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: EthanK
Black construction worker to girl on street: Giiiiiirl, you lookin' good. (to orthodox boys) See, it's that easy.
–Near Edward R Murrow High School
Construction worker on scaffolding, yelling to another: Look! It's a bird! No! It's a plane! No! It's my cock!
–Driggs & N 12th, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Rebecca
Man: Wait, who's the gay one again?
Friend: Jesus. Jesus is gay.
–110th & Broadway
Teen girl: Oh my god! Are you coming out of the closet?
Teen guy: Wait…what? I can't even fit into my closet.
–F train
Overheard by: ali
Girl to friend: This party is going to be awesome! Wait. We have to stop somewhere on the way…I gotta pee before I put out tonight.
–Montrose & Graham
Dude: Do you even know what an Animal Collective Listening Party means in the rest of the country?
–Animal Collective Album Listening Party, River Room, Harlem
Overheard by: care bear stare
Girl: I think it's okay if she parties, as long as it's with a bunch of Christians.
–West 4th b/w 6th & MacDougal
Girl to friend: There's this party in the East Village. It's called "Spit." I'll tell you next time I go. It's on Fridays. But my gawd, these guys are cokeheads. I ended up with ten of them in my apartment last week.
–8th & 18th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Chick on cell: Do parties *count* if there's nothing but necking and spanking and nipple-tweaking?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: I know I'm gay, but the best part of my Bar Mitzvah was meeting the party planner.
–Barns & Noble, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rijita
Three-year-old boy, refusing to get in stroller: Shit! Shit! Shit, mommy! Shit!
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: Sarah
Young boy, yelling after hearing Jesus freaks preach: What a bunch of shit that is!
–7th Ave & 33rd St
Overheard by: Colleen
Hobo drinking Red Bull: This is Red Bull shit!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: RevolutionSuzi
30-something lady on cell: I'm gonna be shitting my brains out later.
–Astoria
Seasoned-looking guy, watching hobo pee in the middle of a subway car: I ain't never seen that shit before. That shit is brand new!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i will be traumatized forever
Menacing black woman on phone: I'mma go home and shit on my girlfriend's China.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Penelope
Guy: So I was talking to this hot girl the other day, but then she told me she liked Bush.
Girl: Oh…she's a lesbian?
Guy: No! Bush!
Girl: Oh, the band.
Guy: No, Bush! She's a Republican!
Girl: Wait. What?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: J.E.
Gay manager: Ugh! They just keep on giving me more things to do.
Girl at counter: It's because you are gay!
Gay manager: Because I'm gay I get more responsibility.
Guy at counter: Blame the makeover shows. Make a few formerly hopeless fashion cases look good on tv and they think you can do anything.
–Retail Store, Union Square
Girl #1: So I texted everyone and told them he was gay, but no one believed me.
Girl #2: Of course he's gay. You used to date him.
–M-15 Bus
Overheard by: peter
Young man to friend: So, about your girlfriend…I think she and I should fuck.
–Union Square West & 16th St
Street hawker selling datebooks: Wanna cheat on your husband? Plan it out! Get a daily planner, write it in red!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: MPW
Hipster teen girl to friend: Dude, don't worry about it. Whenever I want guys to cheat on their girlfriends with me I always just take off my pants and start singing Afroman.
–Mulberry St
Chick to friends: Seriously, it's a full-on dating service for married people. (pause) Like, adulterers.
–Broadway & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Chuckles
Guy to another: Have you been cheating a lot? Does she know you're gay?
–6 Train
Hobo: So would all unhappily married women please step forward? I know there are some unhappily married women out there, and I'm willing to satisfy your needs. (pause) I know you're out there!
–Times Square
Overheard by: John
