International Wednesday One-Liners Of Mystery

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Overheard by: HookahFanatic

Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu

Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.

–Outside the Federal Reserve

20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.

–Broadway & 39th St

Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.

–116th St & 8th

Overheard by: Matt & Stacy

Posted on September 28, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Bryant Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Dating, Family Ties, Fashion, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, History & Geography, Kids, Language Barrier, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Names, One-liners, Parks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

200 Wednesday One-Liners, and There's Nothing to Watch.

Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.

–Lehman College

Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!

–Outside of Guggenheim

Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Melissa

Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.

–J Train

Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on September 27, 2014
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Battery Park, Cancer, College, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dreams, Film, Friends, Girls, Guys, Idiots, More museums, On the Subway, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Store, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, The Village, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners: Now in Color!

Asian schoolgirl to friend: So he says "you're a racist," and I'm like, "I can't be a racist, I'm a race!"

–Ridgewood, Queens

Overheard by: Squidocto

Fair-skinned Italian Long Island woman: So they both took a paper bag test, and passed.

–Barnes & Noble Cafe

Overheard by: a.j.w.

Yuppie Indian woman: In *my* culture, I'm not black.

–Flatbush Ave

Overheard by: mojbe

Ridiculously loud girl employee: Bobby! What's your ethnicity?

–NYU

Overheard by: …not the only shocked observer

Eight-year old black kid to 20-something babysitter, about younger brother: He likes black girls, but I like white girls!

–Outside Delancey Station

Posted on September 27, 2014
Asians, Black People, Brooklyn, Clerks, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, India Indians, Italians, Kids, KKK, Lower East Side, NYU, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Yuppies

Wednesday One-Liners: Great for Bachelor Parties!

16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Halloween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…

–110th & Central Park West

Overheard by: sophie Balis-Harris

Drunk stumbling Yankee meathead to fellow meatheads: Yo! Let's get some fucking strippers! I don't give a fuck about my girlfriend! (pauses and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: seat 12 section 23

20-something woman on cell: What, you had sex with that stripper?!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Liz

Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo' my son's 18th birfday. He be graduatin and all this year, so we sprung fo' a stripper.

–Q67 Bus

Overheard by: Kate

Teen screaming into cell: Stripper. (pause) No, stripper!

–Little Italy

Posted on September 26, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birthdays, Celebrations/Parties, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Infidelity, Insults, Little Italy, Meatheads, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Questions, School and studying, Sex, Strippers, Suits, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yankee Stadium

Wednesday One-Liners Are Simply Scrotacular

Tourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!

–Wall Street Bull

Overheard by: oh tourists

Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls…

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Colin

Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy… just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.

–97th St & Madison Ave

Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.

–Heath St & 231st St

Overheard by: Km

Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?

–W 148th & Broadway

Posted on September 24, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Balls, BJs, Black People, Cashiers, Family Ties, Food, Grocery Stores, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pictures, Questions, Street, Suits, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday H1N1-Liners

Sick girl: I probably don't have swine flu…but I was in Brooklyn last night.

–90th St & Lexington

Overheard by: UESider

Woman on cell: What's with this pig virus thing going around? It's killing people in Mexico, Europe, here in Queens… (pause) Do that many people eat bacon?

–55th & Madison

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

High school student, watching overheated and smoking car: What the fuck is this shit?! Dat nigga's muffler got dat swine flu!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: Ben

Hipster guy on cell: Oh, your enthusiasm is just like the swine flu!

–22nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: BL

Amateur rapper, walking down street: If you got the swine flu, bitch, stay outta my hood! Cause the sun it is shinin' and I'm feelin' so good.

–188th St & Washington Ave

Hipster guy: Abby is a total germophobe. She was like, "what have you eaten lately?" and I was like, "a raw pig from Mexico. Is that bad?"

–76th St & 3rd Ave

Posted on September 23, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bus, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Death, Fears, Food, Girls, Happiness, Hipsters, Illness, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Musicians, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Questions, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Bronx, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

“There's No Wednesday One-Linering in Baseball!”

Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying.

–186th St & Ft. Washington Ave

Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch…

–23rd & 8th

15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that.

–A Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time!

–LaGuardia High School

Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks?

–34th & 6th

Posted on September 23, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crying, Dads, Dancing, Family Ties, Fast Times at New York High, Food, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Start to Sizzle

Guy to his terrified date: Damn, I want to do you. Really, we should go back to my place. We’re hot, we’d be hot together, people would pay to watch us fuck.

–Union Square

Security guard to teen boy who set off the metal detector: Whoa, drop it like it’s hot, baby.

–Checkpoint at JFK

Ghetto teen: Nigga said his penis was hotter than a microwave.

–A train, 168 St

Late-20s woman on cell: Am I getting old? Not picking up hot Frenchmen who offer me drugs?

–The Four Seasons

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Chick on cell: Yes, but you’re a hot creepy stranger.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on September 22, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, One-liners, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Elsewhere: Wednesday One-liners

Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian?

–N train

Posted on September 21, 2014
Anger Management, Animals & Nature, At the Airport, Brooklyn, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Crazies, Drugs, Fordham, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, History & Geography, Lower East Side, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Queens, Queers, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, We Love Our Pets

The Multiple-Choice Section Of This Wednesday One-Liner Begins Now

Train conductor: If anyone sees a blue and yellow backpack, please give it to the train conductor. Jason has a test and he needs to study.

–4 Train

Overheard by: heather

Random guy walking into the ferry station: I figured if I took the test high, I'd get high scores.

–Staten Island Ferry Station

Overheard by: mindy

Professor: These pop quizzes are like making love: you don't get any points for speed, you get them for accuracy.

–Psych Class, Hunter College

Overheard by: I completely agree

Undergrad: I don't even want to look at my art history midterm yet, but if I don't know how I did, I'll go crazy! It's like a Catch-66! Anyway, I'm going to head back to my dorm and put on some pants.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Posted on September 19, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Colors, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Drugs, Ferry, Guys, Hunter, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, School and studying, Sex, Staten Island Ferry, Students, Teachers/Professors, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires