Wednesday One-Liners Have No Trouble Getting Dates

Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!

–Battery Park

Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?

–Farmers Market, Union Square

Overheard by: Dave

Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!

–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?

–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Mon

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Battery Park, Colors, Dating, Drunks, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesnogsday One-Liners

White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.

–Pace University

Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?

–Central Park

Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!

–Grand Central Station

Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.

–Splash Bar

Posted on March 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Central Park, College, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Guys, Internet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Some Men Are All About Getting Tail

Man at female stranger: Can I ask you a question? (woman just looks at him) Do you like…(pauses dramatically) mermaids? (woman crosses the street)

–Herald Square

Posted on February 27, 2010
Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parks, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness

“I'm a Wednesday One-Liners, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother…”

Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."

–4 Train

Overheard by: Mollie Reznick

JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.

–L Train

Overheard by: high school was so two years ago

Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: David G

Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.

–A Train

Overheard by: jm

LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Death, Fashion, Gangstas, Gripes, Insults, JAPs, Kids, Love, Marriage, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Passengers, Penn Station, Relationships, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Grandma Got Run Over by a Wednesday One-Liner

SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?

–8th Ave & 48th St

Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.

–B Train

Overheard by: Taylor

Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.

–8th Ave

Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!

–Midtown

Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Brothers, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Conductors, For Sale, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Street, Teens, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners

College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.

–Central Park

Overheard by: ruegah

NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.

–NYU Tisch Building

Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Preston

Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.

–Music Hall of Williamsburg

Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.

–Borders

Posted on February 17, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Books & Writing, Central Park, Clerks, Compliments, Friends, Guys, Hipsters, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, KKK, Murder, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Store, Students, Stupidity, Theater, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

Wednesday First-Trimester Liners

Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.

–Belmont Park Race Track

20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Mike

Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!

–Belmont Ave & 188th St

Overheard by: Toomuchinformation

Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.

–W 204th St

Overheard by: JMS

Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!

–Central Park

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bitch-slap, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Central Park, Comebacks, Doctors, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Farting & Burping, Ferry, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Insults, Kids, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Someone's Been Reading Too Many Dan Brown Books

Girl #1: Look at all the hipsters. They're all going south. Must be some kind of hipster convention.
Girl #2: How do you know that way is south?
Girl #1: The road. It makes an s-shape. It must mean south. Right?

–Central Park

Posted on February 16, 2010
Central Park, Directions, Girls, Parks, Questions, Stupidity

Wednesday One-Liners Go Animal Crackers

Burly father to daughter, passing grizzly bears: I have no compassion for stuffed animals.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Tarah

Guy to friend: I'm totally going to try to hook up with a dolphin when I'm in Cozumel.

–St. Mark's & 3rd

Girl: I would love to have sex with a cheetah!

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

Girl carrying reindeer head on bicycle rickshaw: It's not a moose head, it's a reindeer!

–4th Ave & 3rd St

Woman on cell: So are you still dating the tortoise man? (pause) So is this a good or bad thing?

–Bergen & Court

Overheard by: Staying away from the herpetarium

Posted on February 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Body Parts, Bronx Science, Dads, Dating, Friends, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Let Us Pray

Orthodox Jewish man #1: We're sending her to Westchester for her eating disorder.
Orthodox Jewish man #2: Is that like a fat farm? Maybe she'll lose weight.

–Manhattan Beach Park

Overheard by: Vespertinas

Posted on February 8, 2010
Diet/Weight, Food, Health and Hygiene, Jews, Parks

Parks