Wednesday One-Liners, the Notorious W.O.L.

Ghetto guy on cell: And then he asked me if he was gonna go to heaven and I said, "You ain't going to heaven, you are going to thug mansion!"

–125th St & Amsterdam

Thugette to thug: I killed him because he was bothering me.

–Broadway & 20th St

Overheard by: Robert G

Pretty thug in white polo (very loudly): Yo, I need to get a scale to weigh some drugs.

–Ditmars & 25th, Astoria

Thug to friend: You can't pull off the lumberjack look. You ain't the fuckin Brawny man!

–Jamba Juice, Times Square

Big thug on cell (angrily): All I'm saying is you'd *better* get your master's degree, or else!

–40th & 8th

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on December 3, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Death, Drugs, Education, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murder, On Cell, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Thugs, Times Square, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Buy Hardware for Their Software

Large black lesbian to friends going into a sex shop: I don't wanna see no dildos unless I'm being fucked!

–Greenwich Village

Overheard by: J.D.

Mormon girl, loudly agreeing with friend: Yeah, I know, I know! I didn't even know what a dildo was until I got here! Like, freshman year!

–Outside Lerner Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: But what about a vibrator?

Loudest black girl in group of loud black teens: What I recommend, to every fuckin' nigga, is the vibratin' cock ring.

–14th St, Outside Urban Outfitters

Overheard by: Now curious about cockrings

Loud tourist girl: But Susan's butt-plug was only $75.

–Orchard & Rivington

Overheard by: MattyB

Man with thick Brooklyn accent on cell: I got the thing…yes the fuckin thing for the thing…yes, but I'm tellin' you the fuckin thing is definitely not big enough for her.

–31st St & 7th Ave

30-something woman to friend: So, between the time I got back from the meeting and the time you called me, I used my vibrator three times. (pauses and realizes everyone on the train is listening) Oh. Did I say that really loudly?

–D Train

Posted on October 29, 2008
Advice, Ass, Biotechs, Black People, Christians, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dildos and Vibrators, Fat People, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Lesbians, Lower East Side, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Sex, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Time, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

He's Now the Troop Expert on How to Pitch a Tent

Ghetto woman: She raped a 12-year-old boy?
Ghetto man: Yeah, she just opened the door and grabbed him and started fucking him.
Ghetto woman: Damn, that nigga probably went back and told all the Boy Scouts!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Skyler Fox

Posted on October 23, 2008
Age/Aging, Black People, Ghetto Chicks, On the Subway, Rape, Robbing the Cradle, Weirdness

Buying Her That “Cumdumpster” T-Shirt Backfired Bigtime

Ghetto girl #1: I'm gonna kick her ass. She's such a waste.
Ghetto girl #2: She is a waste. She's a waste of sperm.

–Times Square Shuttle

Posted on October 18, 2008
Cum, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Times Square, Violence

Wednesday Had One-Liners for the Tax Exemptions

Ghetto mother to obnoxiously loud child: Stop it! Stop it! I said stop it! Oooh, girl I am gonna sell yo ass for a Lexus and a mansion if you don't stop!

–L Train

Mother to small child lagging behind: Do you want to go home with another family?

–South St Seaport

Overheard by: shopgirl

Grandmother to small grandson: You went potty, Nietzsche? That's very good. Nana is coming over later, Nietzsche.

–Carl Schurz Park

Mother, to kid peeing on street: Michael, we don't pee on other people's doors!

–Central Park West

Overheard by: Nikki

Mother, to kid looking at toys: It's not a toilet, it's to make cupcakes.

–Toys "R" US, Times Square

Overheard by: Howie

Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!

–Penn Station

Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam*, your first drug deal encounter.

–81st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: andrew daly

Posted on October 8, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Central Park, Compliments, Dads, Drugs, Etiquette, Ghetto Chicks, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, Music, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, Parks, Pee, Penn Station, Philosophy, Poop, Questions, Store, Threats, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Women

I Only Do That on Holidays

Little girl: Mommy, you can bite my ear.
Ghetto mama: Huh?
Little girl: You want to bite my ear?
Ghetto mama: No!
Little girl: Come on mommy, bite my ear!
Ghetto mama: Goddamn it child, no!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Barnard girl

Posted on October 6, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Enjoy a Stay in the Graybar Hilton

Conductor on train: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the person who is annoyingly pressing the buzzer please direct him to a conductor so they can be arrested and we can all go home.

–Metro North Train

Overheard by: Allison

Hobo: Now you're going to give me a quarter sir, and then I'm going to arrest you.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Eric

Guy on cell: Mike is getting his crazy ass released? For real? (pause) He's paying taxes?! Thug!

–M Train

Teenybopper: I'm going to jail tonight, I don't care. I'm gonna fuckin' kill that bitch!

–30th b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: eavesdropper

Prospective employee to another: I can't believe she tells me how to fill out the fingerprint card! I've been done hauled to the precinct so many times…

–Elevator, Midtown Building

Ghetto mama: Why somebody call me from prison gotta be my husband? Hell no, that nigga is past tense!

–54 Bus

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Buildings, Conductors, Crime and Punishment, Elevators, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, Hobos, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Murder, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Panhandling, Prison, Public Transportation, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Words

I Totally Saw Her Cut in Line at Starbucks Earlier

Old man walking dog (bumping into ghetto girl #1): Watch where you're going, bitch!
Ghetto girl #1 (turning and running after old man, wielding thick Harry Potter book as a weapon): That man just called me a bitch!
Ghetto girl #2 (running after friend): He was talking to the dog! Put the book down! His dog is a bitch!

–25th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: She-Who-Never-Uses-HP-As-A-Weapon

Posted on September 20, 2008
Default, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, Violence, We Love Our Pets

…While Zach Played a Gay Porn Star on SVU

Thug to baby momma: You see, what had happened was Zack Morris married Kelly Kaposki in Vegas.
Baby momma: That's what had happened?
Thug: Yeah, and then Kelly Kaposki changed her name and she stayed in Vegas.

–W. 117th & Lenox

Posted on September 14, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Marriage, Moms, Names, Thugs, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Ghetto Chicks