Is It Sick That I Wednesday on Their One-Liners?

Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.

–4th & Lafayette

Overheard by: andy

Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?

–Times Square

Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."

–NY Comic Con

Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.

–Fordham Law School

Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Will

Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.

–Whole Foods, Chelsea

Overheard by: Hunter (aka,

Posted on January 9, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beastiality, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Fordham, Friends, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parents, Private Parts, S&M, Sex, Street, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Words

I'm Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.

Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!

–Broadway

Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.

–Broadway & Spring

20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that's not funny.

–Q Train

Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean "sexy." I mean it was… Bam!

–Neptune Ave

Overheard by: taylor

Girl on cell: It's really not like a sexy stabbing.

–Centre St

Posted on December 21, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Creepsters, Flyer people, Food, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nostalgia, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Soho, Stab, Strangers, Street, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

We Were, and We’ve Overheard Quite Enough

Preppy guy #1: I want to go to my country house this weekend.
Preppy guy #2: I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to my beach house with me.
Preppy guy #1: …Listen to this conversation we’re having right now.

–26th & Lexington

Overheard by: raic

Posted on December 19, 2018
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Preppies, Street

Wednesday One-Liners for Diane Keaton

Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.

–Gold's Gym, 54th St

Overheard by: Johnny V

Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.

–1 Train

Overheard by: whirlygirlie518

White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.

–Chinatown

Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: D-Law

Posted on December 4, 2018
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Celebrations/Parties, Chinatown, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Gyms, Hair, Home, Sweet Home, LaGuardia Airport, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Politics, Southerners, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Omagah, It’s Wednesday One-Liners!

Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed.

–W 52nd & 9th

Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about

Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first.

–Wagner College Dinning Hall

Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit.

–Christopher Street

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle!

–Sarah Lawrence College

Overheard by: bitterfame

Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol?

–23rd & 7th

Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.]

–Pillow Fight, Union Square

Overheard by: Lillian

Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo!

–Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave

Posted on November 21, 2018
Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, College, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Happiness, Lesbians, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Not New York, Old People, On Cell, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Staten Island, Street, Threats, Time, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, West Village

What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?

Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!

–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St

Overheard by: gothchick

Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!

–Ludow & Stanton

Overheard by: M & J

Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.

–W 110th St

Overheard by: Ashley

Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on November 20, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Columbia University, Compliments, Crazies, Food, Girls, Guys, Hot dog stands, Junk Food & Fast Food, Language Barrier, Lower East Side, Money & Class, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Race, Strangers, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Flunk the Polygraph

Woman on cell: I can't come. I'm in the Poconos right now.

–Rite Aid, The Bronx

Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walking around in the neighborhood… Yeah, we're at the Time Warner center right now. No! No, of course I'm not on St. Mark's. No. I'd never go there. Of course I'm sober! Why wouldn't I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that!

–St. Mark's Place

Russian guy on phone (in Russian): Yeah, I'm on Avenue M. I just got off, I'll be there in a few.

–Q Train, Kings Highway

Overheard by: Robert

Dude on cell: Yo! What's up? I'm waiting at LaGuardia.

–Martin Luther King High School

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm on Long Island right now. I'll be here for a little while.

–Park Slope

Female suit on phone: I have to cancel dinner tonight, I had that meeting I told you about, remember? And I'm still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Jersey still.

–Washington Square Park

Woman on cell outside a pub: Honey? It's mommy. We're still at the hospital. I don't know, we could still be here for hours.

–1st & 72nd

Overheard by: Well, there were hospitals nearby, at least

Posted on September 16, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Bars & Clubs, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Fast Times at New York High, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Lies, Lower East Side, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Parks, Punks, Street, Suits, The Bronx, Time, Tourism, Travel, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Need to Be Consoled

Tech guy: It would suck to be a cow, then you couldn't play Street Fighter.

–Marymount Manhattan College

Blond girl, regarding Egyptian artifacts: This is just like a video game!

–The Met

Overheard by: Rachael and Ben

Mindless dude playing PSP: Damn! Why is this bitch calling me? (answers cell) What do you want, you made me stop my game! (pause) My game as in "my video game," psh! (pause) Shit, if I had any game I wouldn't be with a bitch that looks like you, now what do you want?

–A Train

Overheard by: token white chick

Ghetto kids, as 95-year-old Chinese lady walks into moving traffic: Damn, she think she playing Frogger!

–Chinatown

Friend to friend: I wonder how Super Mario Bros will influence my decision?

–Houston St & Broadway

Posted on September 12, 2018
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Chinatown, College, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Kids, Nerds, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, Stupidity, The Met, The Village, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

I Know. Wine and Beer Help Me Relax.

Guy: Hey, let’s go in there. They might have wine or beer.
Girl: Nah, I kinda wanna grab something hard.

–14th St, between 1st and 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Eve

Posted on September 6, 2018
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Street, Wishes & desires, Words

Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

Posted on August 6, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Drinking & Drunk People, For Sale, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Politics, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Williamsburg