Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: Heather
Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: Heather
Thug selling rap CDs on the corner to nervous Asian boy walking by: Yo, man, you know you want a CD.
Nervous Asian boy: (keeps walking)
Thug, hitting Asian boy on shoulder: You better buy a fucking CD.
Nervous Asian boy: No, thank you. (begins walking faster and turns to friend) You know, I could really see being friends with that guy.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kay
Mom to screaming girls: If you do not stop right now, there will be no tv for a week.
Girls: Nooooo!
Mom: That or a spanking.
Girl #1: I'll take the spanking.
Mom: You don't want the spanking. I will spank you so hard you won't sit for a week.
Girl #2, yelling: When are you going to beat me? I want you to beat me!
–Post Office, Staten Island
Man on phone: Wait, so she bit you? Dude! Wait, what? She punched you? Oh, you went to punch her? Dude, you punched her?
–Penn Station
Too young for final stage alcoholism guy: I totally held my own. I knocked the girl out and fucked the guy up.
–10th St & Ave A
Gangster: Next time I see him, I'ma kick him in his good leg.
–Uptown F Train
Softball-player-looking girl to friends: If you ever wear a tiara at your wedding, I'm going to punch you in the face.
–Wagner Park
Overheard by: mclaire
Young mother to others: Yeah, but you hafta be careful. You can't just hit your kids in public.
–Rivington & Essex
Overheard by: verbal abuse ftw!
Boyfriend to girlfriend: But if I punch you in the throat you will stop breathing.
–SoHo
Teen girl: Did you see that? I almost punched Ira's glass in the chest! That was awesome!
–AMC Theater, 19th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katie
Guy in white shirt and tie: So what, so what if the aliens landed in Brooklyn? And they start shooting their guns, their laser guns on the corner, in the candy store? What then? Do we just let them in the shelter?
–John Jay College of Criminal Justice
Crazy guy: I am an alien from outer space! I have crash landed on your planet! This is our language! (saxophone solo)
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Conductor: We will be stopped at the next station for ten minutes. You are not allowed to exit the train, so that means no smoke breaks or bathroom trips. If you do get off of the train you will be abducted by aliens and never heard from again.
–Amtrak Train, Penn station
Overheard by: Madge
Hobo to teen girls: Can you spare some change for a space man? I wanna get drunk later.
–94th St & Broadway
Girl on cell: And you're leaving with a butthole the size of a pancake your mom cooked! (pause) You don't want that.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: Gaunt
Ghetto fabulous teen boy: So I said, "What? Did you say you wanna fuck my motha'? Well I'm gonna fuck yo brotha!"
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Fiona
Woman outside store to a child speaking to her mother: What do you mean you don't like her? That's your mother, man!
–125th & Park Ave
Woman on phone: Hello? Yeah, how are you? (pause) So I didn't really deal with my mother's death because I wasn't sober then.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Laura
Man: Speaking of mother's graves, I want my urn back.
–13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Latino nanny to redheaded toddler, after he throws his hat at her: Put your hat back on your hair! It's freaking people out.
–Central Park
Disheveled raggedy hobo, reprimanding suit: Get a haircut!
–Wachovia Wells Fargo
Overheard by: CS
Loud black girl on cell phone: You know where the train station is, where all them homeless people live? Yeah, that's where I go get my hair done. She doesn't fuck my hair up, because I told her, "you best not fuck my hair up." And now she never does. (chuckles)
–LIRR
Overheard by: kill her
Beautiful angry woman on cell: I had told you to meet me at 116th Street because I got my hair in my bag! My weave hair! I had wanted to do my hair later, because it's too damn hot to be sitting up in that place. But I'm not going to no damn barbecue with weave hair in my bag!
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Shrimp on the barbie
Little boy with squirt gun: No! You wetted my hair! My beautiful flowing hair!
–Rockefeller Park
Honest woman: I have no maternal instinct. If I had young, I would eat them.
–Artepasta Restaurant
Overheard by: subway phantom
Girl: That wasn't my idea! My idea was cannibalism!
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Girl to another: Can I nibble your butt for a minute?
–Hunter High School
Overheard by: uh oh
Mets fan, yelling at opposing team's right fielder: Don't you look at me, number 47! I'll eat your eyeballs!
–Citifield
Overheard by: Jonathan Abraham
Guy on cell: What do you think about "Horace W. Cannibal?"
–6th & 27th
Overheard by: Eve
Guy to girl: You're going to regret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong salad.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Slender waitress to two large customers: Make sure you finish *all* of that! Especially the celery. That's my favorite part! (they look in disgust)
–Applebee's, Astoria
Yoga clothes-clad girl, loudly to friend: It is not a vegetable. It's a legume!
–6th Ave & W 12th St
Man to woman: So I sayz, "Lady, you're my cuppa tea alright, but I like the occasional cucumber, if you know what I'm sayin'…"
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Mira
Gay guy: I saw people coming out of the woods and I was like, "Aghhh! Corn children!"
–8th & 45th
Overheard by: i'd be scared, too
Sarah Jessica Parker's son: Do you know what kind of lettuce she likes?
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Brooke
Girl: What are all these cops doing here?
Guy: Oh, there was a bomb threat.
Girl: That's not good, we should get out of here.
Guy: If bomb threats make you nervous, than the terrorists have already won.
–7th Ave & 27th St
