Wasn’t This an Eddie Murphy Skit?

Hobo: You’re all a bunch of cheap people!
Conductor: This is Myrtle Avenue, Wyckoff Avenue. All the cheap people are getting off here.

–M train

Overheard by: Cait O’Connor

Posted on January 4, 2007
Conductors, History & Geography, Hobos, Homeless, Money & Class, NYC Geography, On the Subway, People, Places, Subway conductors, Topics

Wednesday One-Liners Thought Felicity Huffman Deserved that Oscar

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.

–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel

TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’

–26th St

Overheard by: agrees with that girl

College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broadway

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.

–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on January 3, 2007
13 Bar, Advice, Age/Aging, Airports, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Barbershop, Bars & Clubs, Bodegas, Bowery Ballroom, Buildings, Bus, CBGB, Classroom, Cruise Ship, Dean & Deluca, Delis, Duane Reade, Elevators, Empire State Building, Grand Central, Grocery Stores, Ground Zero, Gyms, Hospitals, Hot dog stands, Hotels, JFK Airport, LaGuardia Airport, Laundromat, Long Island City, Madison Square Garden, Movie Theaters, Museums, Office, On the Bus, On the Subway, Parades & Festitivites, Parks, Penn Station, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, School, Shea Stadium, Stall Spies, Starbucks, Staten Island, Staten Island Ferry, Store, Street, Stuyvesant Town, Subway Stations, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Tattoo Parlor, Taxis, The Bronx, The Hamptons, Topics, Tourist Attractions, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Venues, Whole Foods, Yankee Stadium

… But Seriously, Do I Look Fat?

Tourist kid to his brother: Shut up. There’s no such thing as a male anorexic. Right? And I’m not one of them.

–JetBlue Terminal, JFK

Overheard by: frequent flier

Posted on December 26, 2006
Airports, Anorexic, At the Airport, Brothers, Diet/Weight, JFK Airport, Kids, People, Places, Skinny People, Topics, Tourists, Venues

Wednesday One-Liners Are as Dumb as They Look

Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Francesca

White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?

–4 train

Overheard by: Gregorio

Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?

–D train, Grand Concourse

Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?

–Manhattan-bound F train

Overheard by: Josh

Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?

–Game Stop, Forest Hills

Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Andrew K.

Posted on December 6, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Black People, Business and Commerce, Central Park, Gangstas, Girlfriends, Girls, Idiots, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, On the Subway, People, Places, Pop Culture, Preppies, Queens, Questions, Shopping, Store, Stupidity, Suits, Teens, Time, Topics, Tourist Attractions, Venues, Video Games, White People, Words

Least Effective Rating System Ever

Guy #1: So what’s the deal with that chick who was talking to you?
Guy #2: Well, I think she’s absolutely atrocious. But yeah, I’d hit that.

–The Joshua Tree, Murray Hill

Posted on December 5, 2006
Bars & Clubs, Guys, Hook Ups, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Places, Sex & Relationships, Topics, Venues

I Have People Who Do that for Me

Pope: So you said 300 percent return?
Bee: Definitely, man — 300 percent!
Pope: So I’ll have my people call your people.
Bee: Yeah, let’s have our people talk.
Pope: My people will totally be in touch with your people, man.
Bee: Okay, dude. Then let’s get high.

–Halloween party, Brooklyn