Guy: Give me a break, she’s into scat! She’ll eat shit, but she won’t lick some ketchup off my hand?
–Folsom Street East
Hipster chick: I didn’t get spat on. I wanted to real bad. But it didn’t happen.
–3rd & St. Marks
Overheard by: robothater
Guy: Give me a break, she’s into scat! She’ll eat shit, but she won’t lick some ketchup off my hand?
–Folsom Street East
Hipster chick: I didn’t get spat on. I wanted to real bad. But it didn’t happen.
–3rd & St. Marks
Overheard by: robothater
Lady on cell: Yes, that’s right. N as in ‘Nancy,’ M as in ‘umbrella’…
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Conductor: This is a downtown V train — V as in ‘vasectomy.’
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Kim
MTA announcement: The next train is a Brooklyn-bound C train. C as in ‘Shelly.’
–59th St station
Overheard by: Trey Givens
Loud man on cell: No, no, her name starts with an F… No, F… F like in ‘phonics’! What? It doesn’t? Oh, well, I guess you could spell it that way, too.
–L train
Loudspeaker: This is the B-as-in-‘badass’ train. Transfer to the D and Four.
–Yankee Stadium station
Ghetto girl on cell: C… No! C — like the last letter in ‘New York.’
–103rd & Lex
Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on.
–Downtown C train
Overheard by: amused passenger
Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen.
–43rd & Lex
Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate!
–42nd & 5th Avenue
Overheard by: Reader Rabbit
Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht
Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino?
–McDonald’s, 34th & 10th
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Anna
Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.
–Troy Ave & Park Place
Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: j
Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!
–Broadway & 54th St
Overheard by: Loren
Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Robin
Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?
–East Village
Small child in large line of kids to woman carrying first-aid kit: Hey, Miss Cynthia, I can’t wait to disappear!
–Lawton St, & Bushwick Ave, Brooklyn
Boy pointing at guy dressed as Statue of Liberty: We waited this whole time just to see that?!
–Line for Statue of Liberty, Battery Park
Little girl: Daddy! I’m hard!
–Blockbuster
Overheard by: Abram
Small boy: Mommy, you sit over there next to Grandma, and I’ll sit over here next to myself.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: post-modern self-identity is a funny thing
Sobbing little boy in stroller to mother: Why can’t you just settle me dowwwn?!
–48th St & Madison
Overheard by: Micaela
Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!
–Broadway & Prince
Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?
–Fordham Plaza
Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?
–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone
Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.
–E Train
Overheard by: Giggling at crack
Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alfie
College chick: …its intended use is for tobacco and that’s my story.
–Barnard College
Guy on cell : Yo, it’s fine, I’ll just get some other dude’s piss.
–104th and Amsterdam
Lady standing all alone (aside from the contributor): Michael, you might want to move out of the way of those people.
–Penn Station
Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?
–86th St
Overheard by: Kevin
Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!
–Charles & 4th
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…
–Pratt Institute
Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!
–5th & 21st
Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!
–Carnegie Deli
Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants?
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants!
–81st & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Jobee
Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on?
–8th & Broadway
Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform.
–Times Square Shuttle Station
Overheard by: Heather
Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Shira
Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train?
–W. Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jon A.
