Wednesday Lindsay-Lohaners

Gay guy, angrily looking at woman eating sausages: And that is why I hate lesbians!

–Gay Pride Parade

Man on cell: I went to San Francisco last month to find me a lesbian girlfriend.

–Big Apple BBQ

Overheard by: skibs

Angry lady to another: Why would I have sex with another woman?

–Greenwich Village

Hobo on platform: Men… do not have sex with women! Any man who has sex with a woman should be arrested. Women do not like sex–women are all lesbians!

–7 Train

Crazy hobo to young girls on bench: You girls are a box full of lesbians!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Daphne

Posted on March 10, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Crazies, Crime and Punishment, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Hobos, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Washington Square Park On

Mother, during tour: I noticed a lot of students have piercings. Can you recommend a good place around here?

–NYU

Grad student on cell: Hey, it's me. Tomorrow, dress appropriately. It's supposed to be 65, so I'll bring a frisbee. Afterward, I want to go to your place because there's certain things I want to do, and your place is much more (pause) conducive for certain activities.

–NYU

Overheard by: DrNels

Girl to another: I used to drink sangria before my classes at NYU.

–Rockefeller Center

NYU student to friend: Man, you gotta remember, you gotta know–you have to stuff that bitch. You gotta know.

–Weinstein Hall, University Place

NYU law student: You know what I love about this building? It smells like a new BMW.

–NYU Law Building

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Home, Sweet Home, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Scents of the City, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Students, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Anything You Say Can and Will Be Used Against Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy to father, watching NYPD officers standing outside on horseback: Shit, yo! The cops is here!

–W 42nd St

Overheard by: Nikki

Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrians: We have sidewalks in New York. Try using them!

–Chinatown

NYC cop to pushy tourist: Don't touch me, I have no answers for you.

–Columbus Circle

Man to cop: When are you gonna learn that, man? People suck!

–Grand Central Station

Cop on horseback to pedestrian horse admirer: Don't get any closer to the horse, unless you want rabies.

–3rd St & Thompson

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on March 10, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chinatown, Cops, Dads, Grand Central, Gripes, Illness, Insults, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Only in New York, Parents, Questions, Strangers, Street, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Do Wednesday One-Liners Make You Hot?

20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…

–Bedford Ave & Berry St

Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes

Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Katie

20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dating, Erections, Fruit, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Horny, Kids, One-liners, Questions, School, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway

Posted on March 3, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Crazies, Education, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hobos, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesnogsday One-Liners

White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.

–Pace University

Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?

–Central Park

Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!

–Grand Central Station

Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.

–Splash Bar

Posted on March 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Central Park, College, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Guys, Internet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

The Truth Shall Set Wednesday One-Liners Free

Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I'm still at work right now, I'll call you when I'm done.

–The Dubliner Bar

Overheard by: Keekz

Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I'm in New York… Yes, I'm at Grand Central, I just got off the train.

–JFK Taxi Stand

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I'm driving there. I'll be there in ten minutes. What? That's a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can't talk, I don't have a headset.

–B Train

Overheard by: Emily

Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I'm like, running.

–7th Ave & 47th St

Overheard by: Serena

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Cars and Driving, Coworkers, Fitness, Girls, JFK Airport, Jobs & Careers, Lies, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Public Transportation, Suits, Time, Women

“I'm a Wednesday One-Liners, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother…”

Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."

–4 Train

Overheard by: Mollie Reznick

JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.

–L Train

Overheard by: high school was so two years ago

Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: David G

Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.

–A Train

Overheard by: jm

LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Death, Fashion, Gangstas, Gripes, Insults, JAPs, Kids, Love, Marriage, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Passengers, Penn Station, Relationships, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait

Random girl: I think PETA should be informed any time an animal is fully submerged in a vagina.

–Webster Hall

Overheard by: Jen

20-something platinum blonde to another: Her vagina… Her vagina must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.

–7th Ave & 12th St

Girl, about her play: I don't think people are going to laugh about the vagina being killed on stage… Yeah, no one's gonna laugh when the vagina dies.

–NYU

Dude questioning another: What do mean by "moderate Taliban"? Like the women can wax their vaginas?

–Elizabeth Street

Young man shouting on cell: Then just tell her you don't like her vagina!

–26th St & Park Ave

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Death, Girls, Guys, Height, Laughter, Lower East Side, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Pedophilia, Physical appearance, Questions, Religion, Street, Terrorism, The Village, Theater, Theater & Dance, Vagina, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words

Bed, Bath, and Wednesday One-Liner

Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.

–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mat Freimuth

Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!

–Glendale

Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!

–Hamilton Heights

Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.

–65th St & Broadway

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Babies, Brooklyn, Couples, Death, For Sale, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Magic, Money & Class, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

One-liners