Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus.
Dude: What?
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus. I don’t want to listen to you cursing.
Dude: What the fuck? I am not talking to you.
Bus driver: I don’t talk like that.
Dude: You look like you talk like that!
–Q23 bus
Shabby-looking vegan woman: Vegans have much better sex!
Black man in suit, looking her up and down: I'd rather have a hamburger.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Can't Beat the Meat
Guy to girlfriend: Will you just hold my fucking hand?
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: waiting for my prince charming
Guy: You know, I used to think cheating on girls was wrong.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Young woman, looking at Lolita book jacket: Wow. This kind of reminds me of my relationship.
–Borders, 33rd & 7th
Overheard by: with a K
Man on cell: No, dear, I do not want to hear what you’re doing to yourself right now.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alexandra
Woman, to man she’s just kissed: What was your name again?
–2nd St & 1st Ave
Man on cell: My wife is driving me crazy! She keeps following my girlfriend around! Wait, hold on, I have to take this call. Hello…Yeah I just stepped out of the office for a few minutes… Thanks, honey, you’re the best.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Girl on cell: He liked me too much, so I fuckin’ dumped him.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: buffalo
Kid #1, after playing hide-and-seek: So where were you?
Kid #2: I hid in the bush.
Kid #3, yelling and throwing hands in the air in disgust: No! You weren't hiding in the bush, you were hiding in the shrubs. Doesn't anybody know the difference between bushes and shrubs?!
–Central Park
20-something women in yoga gear, simultaneously: It was like a blessing in cake form.
–Astor Place
Girl: I'm too single to eat a brownie.
–NYU Library
Guy on cell: Soft Serve is so good, you will step in dog poop and not even care!
–14th St b/w 7th & 8th
Serious guy on his way out of restaurant, to girl: So all we need are aspirin and Skittles.
–Angelo's Pizza
Assertive little boy in shopping cart seat, grabbing mom's face: I want to buy a chocolate croissant and eat it. Do you understand what I'm saying?
–Food Coop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Jenny
Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.
–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: HookahFanatic
Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu
Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.
–Outside the Federal Reserve
20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.
–Broadway & 39th St
Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.
–116th St & 8th
Overheard by: Matt & Stacy
Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.
–Lehman College
Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!
–Outside of Guggenheim
Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Melissa
Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.
–J Train
Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.
–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Asian schoolgirl to friend: So he says "you're a racist," and I'm like, "I can't be a racist, I'm a race!"
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Squidocto
Fair-skinned Italian Long Island woman: So they both took a paper bag test, and passed.
–Barnes & Noble Cafe
Overheard by: a.j.w.
Yuppie Indian woman: In *my* culture, I'm not black.
–Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: mojbe
Ridiculously loud girl employee: Bobby! What's your ethnicity?
–NYU
Overheard by: …not the only shocked observer
Eight-year old black kid to 20-something babysitter, about younger brother: He likes black girls, but I like white girls!
–Outside Delancey Station
Girl#1: And he was all like, “Boo hoo, I wish you were here to take care of me. Come snuggle.”
Girl#2: Aww! That’s sweet.
Girl#1: Ew! No it’s not! [after rolling eyes and taking sip of coffee] that’s what his fucking wife is for…
Girl#2: I… Do you hear yourself?
Girl#1: Fuck you!
–NYU
Sick girl: I probably don't have swine flu…but I was in Brooklyn last night.
–90th St & Lexington
Overheard by: UESider
Woman on cell: What's with this pig virus thing going around? It's killing people in Mexico, Europe, here in Queens… (pause) Do that many people eat bacon?
–55th & Madison
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
High school student, watching overheated and smoking car: What the fuck is this shit?! Dat nigga's muffler got dat swine flu!
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
Hipster guy on cell: Oh, your enthusiasm is just like the swine flu!
–22nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: BL
Amateur rapper, walking down street: If you got the swine flu, bitch, stay outta my hood! Cause the sun it is shinin' and I'm feelin' so good.
–188th St & Washington Ave
Hipster guy: Abby is a total germophobe. She was like, "what have you eaten lately?" and I was like, "a raw pig from Mexico. Is that bad?"
–76th St & 3rd Ave
