Businesswoman, trying to pass woman down narrow sidewalk: Excuse me, you are walking very slowly.
Slow woman: I'm not in a rush.
Businesswoman: Where do you think you are, Connecticut?
–Fulton b/w Cliff & Gold
Overheard by: Zach
Businesswoman, trying to pass woman down narrow sidewalk: Excuse me, you are walking very slowly.
Slow woman: I'm not in a rush.
Businesswoman: Where do you think you are, Connecticut?
–Fulton b/w Cliff & Gold
Overheard by: Zach
Elderly woman sipping wine: Three girls and one guy? Sounds like a good time!
–Queens
Overheard by: amused cashier
Dude on cell: Hey bro, whatcha doing? Oh, yeah? What about your friend, does he like doing that? Does he like it a lot? Do you think I can come over? Well, then we can all do that together, a lot. (sees people looking at him) I'll talk to you later, bro.
–Church St Post Office
Overheard by: deshaunicus
Serious girl: And then they asked for a three-way, but a tasteful one.
–15th St & 5th Ave
Middle aged woman to friend: I just got this bike seat but I have to return it. I was riding around on it yesterday and when I woke up this morning, I felt like I'd been gang-banged by the Pittsburgh Steelers.
–Bike Shop, 12th St & Ave B
20-something chick: I am *so* over threesomes. There's just too much going on!
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: M.F.
White chick in sundress: I'm too naive for their kind of orgies.
–Dallas BBQ, 165th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk guy at bar: I have to pee, but first I have one word for you: threesome.
–Crocodile Lounge
Skater kid: Where's my tongue?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Toast
Guy on bus (shouting from the back of the bus): Driver, you know this bus is not gentle on those who have testicles. I mean there's all these bumps and everything's jumping around.
–B12 Bus
Butch lesbian yelling into phone: How do you think I found out my thyroid wasn't working?
–M14D Bus
Old guy to pretty girl: You have some nice legs. You should be doing stocking commercials. Anyone ever tell you that? (now to himself) Oh, the woes of racism have plagued us from Egyptian times!
–R Train
Stock floor guy on cell: Every time we think this thing is coming to a head, there's another head…how many heads does this thing have?
–Wall St & Broadway
Overheard by: Michael
Woman on cell: The best place for your thighs is around my neck. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is.
–58th & Columbus Circle
Korean girl to white guy: Why do you find it necessary to squint your eyes when you do an Asian impression?
–L Train
Overheard by: john.ainley
White girl to friends: And then a ninjician pulled a chopstick out of her ear!
–Veniero's Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Amy
Asian chick: Asians are obsessed with analyzing poop.
–Max Restaurant, Tribeca
Overheard by: Shringle
Woman begging for change: Can I get some quarters? (pause) My cousin-in-law is Chinese. Come on!
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: NMT
Asian woman, after sneezing: Just cuz I'm a sneezin' Asian don't mean I got SARS.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: CNaughty
White girl on cell: Okay, I'm going to sound crazy, but there's this Asian guy in one of my classes…and he looks just like Ashley…and I just want to run up and say "Can I take a picture of you? Because you look just like my black girlfriend!"
–Dorm Building, Cooper Union
Girl on street, arguing with guy: I mean, I really like that Palin. She has a nice smile.
Guy on street: She smiles like that because she wants your soul!
–W Broadway & Warrren
Overheard by: jramon
Ghetto mother to obnoxiously loud child: Stop it! Stop it! I said stop it! Oooh, girl I am gonna sell yo ass for a Lexus and a mansion if you don't stop!
–L Train
Mother to small child lagging behind: Do you want to go home with another family?
–South St Seaport
Overheard by: shopgirl
Grandmother to small grandson: You went potty, Nietzsche? That's very good. Nana is coming over later, Nietzsche.
–Carl Schurz Park
Mother, to kid peeing on street: Michael, we don't pee on other people's doors!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Nikki
Mother, to kid looking at toys: It's not a toilet, it's to make cupcakes.
–Toys "R" US, Times Square
Overheard by: Howie
Father, to five-year-old son: I had no idea you liked AC/DC!
–Penn Station
Mother, to son in stroller watching two shady characters: Oh, a drug deal! Sam*, your first drug deal encounter.
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: andrew daly
College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.
–Penn Station
Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?
–Times Square
Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…
–Tribeca
Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?
–Riverside Park
30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.
–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?
–Christopher St Pier
Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Pza
20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?
–Denny's
Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Alison
Crazy hobo outside strip club: Good morning! (girl ignores him) I said "Good morning!" (girl keeps walking, not looking at him) Fine! I take it back!
–Broadway & 53rd St
Overheard by: JoBell
Bag lady to tourists: Hey, people! Welcome to New York City! Can you buy me a hot dog?
–Wall Street
Hobo: Hey! Can I borrow fifty million dollars for the weekend?!
–14th St
Hobo on train: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please! My name is Al, but you can caaaaaaaaalllllll me…homeless.
–L Train
Homeless guy: Hi everyone, my name is Eddie. Some people call me Homeless Ed, or Homeless for short. I know some of you hate homeless people. I didn't use to be homeless. I had a house, a job, and even a girlfriend. And my girlfriend had a girlfriend, so here I am.
–Uptown F Train
Lispy overweight hobo: Hey, sweetie! If I do some scenes from Days of Our Lives, will you help me out with two dollars?
–W 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know.
–Outside Cubbyhole
Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers.
–Bleecker & W 10th St
Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: linda
Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive.
–Concert on The Great Lawn
Overheard by: sternie
Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you.
–Financial District
