Man on pay phone: Naw, naw! You gotta tell him! We ain’t down with the broomstick!
–4th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Earl Holloway
Man on pay phone: Naw, naw! You gotta tell him! We ain’t down with the broomstick!
–4th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Earl Holloway
NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.
–University & 4th St
Overheard by: sarah
Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!
–147th & Convent
Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.
–Park Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: Christopher Schulz
Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.
–Macy's
Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?
–Meatpacking District
Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack
Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI
Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!
–Ave B & 10th St
Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!
–St. Marks Place
Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.
–1st & 3rd
Overheard by: Angela
Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!
–CVS
Overheard by: freshly brewed.
Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!
–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn
Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!
–Downtown D Train
Overheard by: Raven
Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.
–59th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: aenigma
NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.
–Forsyth St & E Houston St
Overheard by: Dave-o
Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.
–Ale House, MacDougal St
Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jana
Yuppie: Like, why do we even have Pennsylvania?
–5th Avenue/53rd St. station
Overheard by: Jamie
Cop: Man, I'm computer illiterate… That's why the NYPD is perfect for me.
–Police Precinct, Bronx
Overheard by: afrocurl
Cop car to man in the street, after using sirens: How stupid are you? Move out of the way!
(crowd cheers)
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: onlycoolcop
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrian: What are you doing!?
–Houston & Broadway
Woman with missing teeth, grabbing tourist and yelling: I'm not a cop! I'm a ho!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism
Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!
–Union Square Station
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.
–105th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: peeper
City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: E
Conductor: This is the 3:07 off peak train to Huntington. Stopping at Woodside, Jamaica, New Hyde Park…blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Watch the gap. (clicks microphone off)
–LIRR
Conductor: There's a 2 express train right across the platform. Ready, set, go!
–1 Train
Conductor: There's a Brighton Beach-bound b train across the platform. Say that three times fast.
–F Train
Overheard by: Thom Cohen
Conductor: Ladies and gentleman, I have a very important announcement: this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. I repeat, this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. There will be another train after this one, and another one after that.
–Downtown 2 Train
Train conductor: This message is for the young man who stepped to the edge of the platform at the front of the train. This train feels no pain, this train has no brain. How about you?
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Guitarbuyer
Bus driver: This is East 18th Street. If you get off here, you'll be at the q train faster. If you choose to not use your god-given walking ability, the q train is next.
–B11 Bus
Overheard by: not using her god given walking ability
Conductor: This is 96th Street. Next stop, 103rd. Everyone ready? And away we go!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ali
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
