Guy by himself, taking can out of plastic bag: Fucking baked beans!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Marianna
Guy by himself, taking can out of plastic bag: Fucking baked beans!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Marianna
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
Woman to boyfriend: You're so right, that man's a liar and a thief! How fucking dare he!
Boyfriend: How dare he, indeed! Now lemme tell ya: if he do it again, shit, I don't even fuckin' care! I'll cut his fuckin' kidneys out! In full view of da NYPD–I don't give a shit. In fact, I want them to see me and convict me!
–L Train
Overheard by: Stephen
Thug #1: So what did she say?
Thus #2: I don't know man, she was all like, “I smell that shit, I smell it!” and I was like “bitch, please, I just fucked you!”
–14th St Subway Station
Overheard by: now i'm curious
Hipster guy, finishing a story: And so I said “suck on that, commie!”
Hipster girl: Wait, what?
Hipster guy: By “commie”, I mean “communist.” And by “suck on that,” I mean my cock.
Hipster girl, disappointed: Oh.
Gay hipster guy: I get it! But, I mean, what about the chafing?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Alexx
Teen girl, about old Latina scolding dog in Spanish: Stupid bitch! Dogs don’t speak Spanish!
–86th & Columbus
Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man?
–Union Square
Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you.
–Bar, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Eric
Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: letthemusicplayy
Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole!
–Rite Aid, Grand Central
Homeless guy dropping cigarettes while following foreigners: A brother drops his smokes and you gets a-steppin’?! I smoke Newports! You can’t get this in no garage! Hey! Hey! How about givin’ me some money? It’s for the children, for the children!
Lady: No!
Homeless guy to lady’s boyfriend: Wow, there’s evil! So much evil comin’ from this one. You’re good, though, I can tell.
Boyfriend: Yeah?
Homeless guy: Can you feel that? Can you feel that, brother?
Boyfriend: Yes, I can feel that.
Homeless guy: You know what that is?
Boyfriend: No, what is it?
Homeless guy: It’s the feel of the crack of yo’ asshole burnin’! [Homeless guy runs away.]
–Bleecker, near Sullivan
Headline by: pheeze
Runners-Up:
· “Another drive-by psychic reading from Triumph the Insult Comic Bum” – Angus McIntyre
· “Jesus Is My Roid Cream” – en_ki
· “That Port Hasn’t Been New In Years” – dan
· “The wrong way to hand out Taco Bell coupons” – Jon Trudel
Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!
–NYU Hayden Staircase
Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza
Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!
–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St
Overheard by: Cassie
20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.
–Chipotle, 51st & 8th
Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.
–Near Holland Tunnel
Overheard by: Claire H.
Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!
–6th & Ave A
Overheard by: Kremilyse
30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool
Lady: Excuse me, but I have my daughter here!
Man: So do I!
Lady, backing out of train: Fine, whatever. Merry Christmas to you.
Man: Yeah, fuck you, too.
–68th & Lex station
