“I'm a Wednesday One-Liners, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother…”

Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."

–4 Train

Overheard by: Mollie Reznick

JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.

–L Train

Overheard by: high school was so two years ago

Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: David G

Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.

–A Train

Overheard by: jm

LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Death, Fashion, Gangstas, Gripes, Insults, JAPs, Kids, Love, Marriage, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Passengers, Penn Station, Relationships, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait

Random girl: I think PETA should be informed any time an animal is fully submerged in a vagina.

–Webster Hall

Overheard by: Jen

20-something platinum blonde to another: Her vagina… Her vagina must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.

–7th Ave & 12th St

Girl, about her play: I don't think people are going to laugh about the vagina being killed on stage… Yeah, no one's gonna laugh when the vagina dies.

–NYU

Dude questioning another: What do mean by "moderate Taliban"? Like the women can wax their vaginas?

–Elizabeth Street

Young man shouting on cell: Then just tell her you don't like her vagina!

–26th St & Park Ave

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Death, Girls, Guys, Height, Laughter, Lower East Side, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Pedophilia, Physical appearance, Questions, Religion, Street, Terrorism, The Village, Theater, Theater & Dance, Vagina, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words

Bed, Bath, and Wednesday One-Liner

Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.

–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mat Freimuth

Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!

–Glendale

Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!

–Hamilton Heights

Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.

–65th St & Broadway

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Babies, Brooklyn, Couples, Death, For Sale, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Magic, Money & Class, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Grandma Got Run Over by a Wednesday One-Liner

SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?

–8th Ave & 48th St

Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.

–B Train

Overheard by: Taylor

Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.

–8th Ave

Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!

–Midtown

Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Brothers, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Conductors, For Sale, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Street, Teens, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Die, Wednesday-One-Liner Scum!

Male yuppie to female yuppie: So milfs are totally in right now.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Lolita

20-something male yuppie, surrounded with Starbucks coffee containers and yelling at laptop: It took you six fucking minutes to get to the fucking page! Rawwwr! I'm going to rip you apart, you stupid fucking computer! Rawwr!

–Starbucks

Yuppie-hipster mom, to sobbing toddler: Yeah, I know, your life is just so tough.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: It's because those hemp diapers you make her wear chafe like hell.

Yuppie woman: This is like the Third World!

–8th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Sam Chalek

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Compare/Contrast, Global Geography, Hipsters, Insults, Kids, Laptop, MILF, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Starbucks, The Village, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yuppies

Wednesday One-Liner Is the Second-Largest Property Owner in NYC, After the Catholic Church

Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed.

–Columbia University

Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis…

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Katie Naum

Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: L-Dubbs

Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead.

–Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: reluctantprof

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Education, Friends, Guys, Handicaps, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Murder, One-liners, Philosophy, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sex, Students, Surgery, Sweat, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The Cheeky Fuckhole Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy outside NY Life building: You have to entrance a man with your pussy… or your voice.

–26th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Seeking Dating Advice

Ghetto guy to date: I eat pussy for 40 minutes!

–The Frying Pan

Overheard by: Aly

Irate woman on cell: I ain't a size two anymore! This shit be hurtin my ass, and my vah-jay-jay!

–6th Ave & 38th St

Girl to another: If you were a stranger, I'd punch you in the vagina.

–D Train

Father to teenage son: There will be plenty more pussy to come, you just need to get your swagger back.

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mister Pants

Posted on February 17, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Ass, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Punch, Street, Teens, Threats, Time, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

“Hi, My Name Is Wednesday, and I'm a One-Liner”

Happy old drunk guy, to no one in particular: Eldridge Street, god bless us, every one! Eldridge street!

–Eldridge Street & Broome Street

Drunk girl to friend: There she goes! Being all Rosa Parks, as usual, saving her tribe …

–2nd Ave b/w 5th & 6th

Drunk girl outside bar: If I ever have children, I want them to be as fucked up as I am!

–West Village

Overheard by: AsherO

Drunk girl: I'm so hungry I could eat a dick!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: teagle

Loud drunk girl at table with friends: Ashton sat on my lovesack!

–Blockheads

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Compare/Contrast, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Fashion, Food, Fordham, Friends, Girls, Happiness, Kids, Lower East Side, Old People, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Politics, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners

College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.

–Central Park

Overheard by: ruegah

NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.

–NYU Tisch Building

Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Preston

Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.

–Music Hall of Williamsburg

Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.

–Borders

Posted on February 17, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Books & Writing, Central Park, Clerks, Compliments, Friends, Guys, Hipsters, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, KKK, Murder, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Store, Students, Stupidity, Theater, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

One-Liners Mean What Wednesdays Say They Mean

Blonde to brunette: So that made it even worser… Worser? More worse? Or is it just worse? Noooo. Worser. Or just worse? No! More worse. Worser?

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Agitated young man: I was dramatized by all dat what just happen … dramatized, son. Dramatized.

–Hospital, 10th Ave

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Obese woman pushing stroller: Yo! I told you I don't wanna hear noes, ifs, ants, or buts about it.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: john ainley

Young French lady: We are gonna weaponised a pumpkin!

–French Consulate, Upper East Side

Overheard by: James

Posted on February 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Food, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Hospitals, Idiots, Moms, Office, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

One-liners

The Cheeky Fuckhole Of Wednesday One-Liners