Wednesday One-Liners Taste the Rainbow

Teen hipster on cell: You know, light pink is the navy blue of India. It's true! Don't ask me how I know this but I do.

–6th & 51st

Overheard by: simon

Flamboyant nasal-voiced man on cell: I'm feeling blue…like, royal blue…a little lighter…no, not baby blue…like, American flag blue…like…yeah.

–Jamaica LIRR Station

Aussie on cell: There were all these dudes wearing pink shirts…and they weren't even gay!

–55th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: wearing a pink shirt and gay

Girl to friend: So he made carrot salad and I said "Your poop is gonna be orange!"

–The Frying Pan, Chelsea

Latina: Well, she said "It wasn't white! It was yellow!" So I was like, "Well, was it at least shaped like a penis?"

–4th Ave & 40th, Brooklyn

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Food, Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hipsters, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Poop, Queens, Questions, Teens, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

Suspenders or Belt, Wednesday One-Liners?

Guy: Okay, we can invite him too, but you have to remind him that pants are a requirement, not a mild suggestion.

–Uptown 2 Train

Middle aged man at the end of police show (exhausted from dancing around the suite all night): Wow, I can't believe I kept my pants on!

–MSG Skybox

Overheard by: Russ Beef

Man to friend: And like, man I wasn't gonna drink anything, but I smoked like one hundred blunts and was so high and I was like taking my pants off and shit.

–1 Train

Overheard by: batou187

Ghetto guy to ghetto friends: I remember the day I got my Reeboks like I remember the day that I peed my pants…when I was too old to pee my pants.

–A train

Overheard by: Hannah

Guy on phone: I think that may be slightly humiliating though, if the pants actually come off. And someone feels the chicken cutlets inserted in your underpants for some added power.

–19th & 8th

Overheard by: Joey

Posted on October 1, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Drinks, Guys, Madison Square Garden, Men, Nudity, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Weed, Weirdness

Where in the World Are Wednesday One-Liners?

College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.

–Penn Station

Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?

–Times Square

Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…

–Tribeca

Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?

–Riverside Park

30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.

–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Global Geography, Guys, Idiots, Movies, NYC Geography, Penn Station, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, The Bronx, Times Square, Tourism, Tourist Attractions, Tourists, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Pour Some Wednesday One-Liners on Me

Fireman on loudspeaker, as he drives by Magnolia Bakery in fire truck: It's just a cupcake!

–11th & Bleecker

Overheard by: Chris

Disappointed 20-something girl to girlfriends: Yeah, but they don't have chocolate covered penises there.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Brookelyn

Large Italian guy: What happened to my tiramisu? That's what I want to know!

–LIRR to Penn Station

Girl covered in pink frosting on cell: There's frosting all over me!

–170th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Hipster guy on cell: Yeah, so the food was like chocolate and chorizo…mother fucking chocolate and chorizo… No, it was good… You should try it… Why not? Fuck veganism! Some website… Myjambi. M-y-j-a-m-b-i. Why chocolate? How should I know? It's for the website. Yes, the website! I don't know why the dog was there.

–28th & Park

Old woman to overweight woman: You look like you would know the answer to this… Where is a cupcake bakery around here?

–53rd & 3rd

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Firemen, Food, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Italians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, On Cell, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vegetarian & Vegan, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Bursting with Fruit Flavor

Punk rocker to ghetto chick: Say…you ever been fucked by a smelly guy in a banana suit?

–J Train

Overheard by: Markthrone

Loud, laughing redhead on cell: Ha ha! I'll plant another pear tree, and that will be Tricia!

–W 57th St

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Brosef to girls (oddly aggressively): Which do you like more, bananas or oranges? Say it!

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Rooting for bananas

Guy on cell: Did you order the poster of the banana?

–Central Park

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

Overachiever mom to 5-year-old girl: No, I'm not saying that you have to have a piece of fruit. I'm saying that when we get there, you'll get to choose. It'll be your choice. You can choose fruit or you can choose a granola bar. (pause) Of course, fruit is the healthier choice.

–7th Ave & 26th St

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Heavily tattooed man: So we started playing this game. We shoved grapes up her ass, and she had to drop them in a martini glass.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Housey

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Backdoor, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Fruit, Guys, Kink, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Punks, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Enjoy a Stay in the Graybar Hilton

Conductor on train: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the person who is annoyingly pressing the buzzer please direct him to a conductor so they can be arrested and we can all go home.

–Metro North Train

Overheard by: Allison

Hobo: Now you're going to give me a quarter sir, and then I'm going to arrest you.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Eric

Guy on cell: Mike is getting his crazy ass released? For real? (pause) He's paying taxes?! Thug!

–M Train

Teenybopper: I'm going to jail tonight, I don't care. I'm gonna fuckin' kill that bitch!

–30th b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: eavesdropper

Prospective employee to another: I can't believe she tells me how to fill out the fingerprint card! I've been done hauled to the precinct so many times…

–Elevator, Midtown Building

Ghetto mama: Why somebody call me from prison gotta be my husband? Hell no, that nigga is past tense!

–54 Bus

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Buildings, Conductors, Crime and Punishment, Elevators, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, Hobos, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Murder, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Panhandling, Prison, Public Transportation, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Tweens, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Words

What What (In the Wednesday One-Liners)?

Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert

Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?

–Christopher St Pier

Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Pza

20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.

–Elevator, Midtown Building

Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?

–Denny's

Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.

–Weight Room, Coles Gym

Overheard by: Ladle

Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Alison

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Buildings, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Elevators, Fitness, Foreigners, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Queer guys, Queers, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Sorority Girls, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Sneak Big Shampoo Into Their Carry-Ons

Pilot: We haven't been cleared for landing yet, so we're just going to have to fly around for about 30 minutes. We have about 45 minutes worth of fuel left, so we should be okay.

–Flight into LaGuardia

Overheard by: Andrea

TSA representative to man punching the beeping metal detector: Sir, I don't think that you understand how this works, but you are not supposed to punch the machine when it beeps.

–JFK

Flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen of the jur… We'll be coming around to serve refreshments shortly.

–JFK to Burbank

Overheard by: Bella

Pilot: I would like to apologize for the long delay and I am happy to announce that we will shortly be making our way over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go in Louisville. Our flux capacitor is up and running and once this baby hits 188 miles per hour you'd better hold on tight.

–LaGuardia Airport

Pilot: So, is everyone excited to go to Honolulu?

–JFK Flight to San Francisco

Overheard by: that would be nice, though…

Posted on September 17, 2008
Advice, Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Compare/Contrast, Fears, Flight Attendants, Global Geography, JFK Airport, LaGuardia Airport, Pilots, Public Transportation, Questions, Time, Weirdness, Words

Wednesday-One-Lina, Please!

Ghetto guy: Fuck no! That nigga's soft as cotton.

–Union Square

Black guy: Yo nigga, I called this nigga and said "Yo nigga."

–59th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Satch

Random old black guy sitting alone on steps: Nigga who, nigga what, nigga where, nigga what?

–2nd ave and 8th st

Overheard by: evanescent

Chinese kid to another: Do I look pussy to you, nigga?

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

White thug on cell: What? You can't call me nigga, you're white!

–Beverley Road & Ocean Parkway

White guy to Dominican guy: Yo, you look like the kinda nigga who gets bitches. Where they at?

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Benny the boo

Posted on September 17, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Chinese, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Kids, Latinos, Old People, On Cell, Questions, Race, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People, Words

We Heart Wednesday One-Liners

Skater boy: I love Jennifer Aniston! I would fuck her and then leave her!

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Laura

Grad student: I've been analyzing my love life from a symbolic interactionist perspective…

–Amsterdam Cafe

Overheard by: Ladle

Guy on cell: I love you…(defensively) Yes I do!

–Columbus Circle

Loud guy: You know what? Sometimes you've got to catch a few venereal diseases to find true love.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Kelsey

Man on cell: Then I thought that if I asked her out she would think that I think that she thinks that I think that she loves me.

–59th St & 8th Ave

Black girl behind the counter (after receiving a few text messages and calls): Why is everyone harassing me today? (sighs) I feel loved.

–Coldstone Creamery

Overheard by: Eli

Bus driver on loudspeaker: This bus is beautiful. We care about one another, we share our experiences, our dreams and aspirations. I love each and every one of y'all. So…that's what this is.

–X30 Bus

Overheard by: i just like him as a friend…

Posted on September 17, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Black People, Boys, Breaking Up, Bus Drivers, Compliments, Girls, Guys, Love, Men, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Philosophy, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Skaters, STDs, Store, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Yankee Stadium

All Wednesday One-Liners