Fat old lady: Do you happen to know who wrong the song “Who Let the Dogs Out”?
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Old woman: What do you want me to talk about? You don’t want to hear about my dog. You don’t want to hear about my cat. What else is there to talk about?
–N train
Overheard by: Nim G
Blueblood woman: Yesterday I was in here and got 2 tomatoes and left them here. Have they been found?
–Bleecker Street grocery
Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn't like it.
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Student: Dude, I think I'm dyslexic with stairs.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.
–Downtown 6 Train
Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she's not into anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: i don't like stuff either
Guy: Dead girls? Come on. I’m afraid of real girls. Dead girls are even scarier.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Carrie
Guy: …he’s still living that zombie-turtle lifestyle…
–14th between University & 5th
Overheard by: Joe Strike
Lady on cell: …so we were at this goth club and I moonwalked into someone…
–72nd & Columbus
Woman: I wouldn’t fit in this even if I was cremated.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: kathy duby
Man: If it wasn’t for his suicide, Terry and I would never have met.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rick Segall
Gangster into cell: Hold your hand up like a antenna, and maybe your budget-ass phone would work.
–E 5th & 2nd Ave
Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!
–MoMA
Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.
–NYU
Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…
–Union Square
Overheard by: eliza
Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!
–1st Ave
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.
–6th & 10th
Overheard by: El
Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.
–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup
Overheard by: midtown_strangler
Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Hurtz donit
Guy to buddy: Dude, we are actually a lesbian couple.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sofa
Loud woman on cell: Did you know that Devahndra had a baby? Yeah, a girl. What happened to being a lesbian? Yeah, I guess that one went kinda short.
–Bx16 bus
Overheard by: Lillian
LI man: … And then the lesbians — they surrounded me.
–LIRR, Jamaica
Overheard by: wish they had been surrounding ME
Hipster: She thought she was a lesbian, but she was a midget.
–L train
Suit to female companion: Even lesbians have to eat!
–34th St
Overheard by: oh, is that why i’m so hungry?
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
Conductor: Check around, make sure you have all of your belongings. If you have small children, make sure you hold onto them. (in haunting tone) Wouldn't want to see them disappear…into the gap.
–Metro-North Line
Overheard by: Jess
Train conductor on PA: The last car is the quiet car. No cell phones or loud conversations please. If you need to have a conversation, please do so silently.
–Penn Station
Conductress, in monotone: The next stop on this train will be Grand Street, the last stop in the borough…in the borough….in the borough of Manhattan.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Conductor on PA: The next stop will be 51st Street. All of you lookin' for the local train on the other platform: hey yo! We over here!
–14th Street Station
MTA conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this train will be out of commission, uh…right now. Get out!
–MetroNorth Train
Overheard by: Kellin
Train conductor: Ladies and gentleman, brace for impact. (pause) Nah…just kidding, I could never pull that shit off. Y'all lucky we underground! Have a safe day.
–A Train
Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m going to dress her up in outfits again and make her dance.
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: kt
Guy, selling comedy tickets: Come on, guys, see the show! It’s cheaper than a Chinese abortion.
–Times Square
Kid: You may think of abortion like, "Oh, it’s gone!"
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emilia
Girl: Now I understand why people steal babies! It totally makes sense! We should legalize abortion.
–68th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Manic Mouse
Queer on phone: No, I’ve told you. I’m atheist, I don’t want to go to church with you. Well, I dunno what to tell you, mother, it’s too late for an abortion now. Maybe you should have used a condom.
–CVS , Cedarhurst, Long Island
Overheard by: Queer CVS clerk
Guy: So, she starts talking about abortion while I got a fuckin’ boner and I’m like, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
–W 42nd St & 8th Ave
